Sunday, February 25, 2007

Ellen DeGeneres ...

has to be one of the funniest hosts that the Academy Awards has ever had. Her monologue was just funny and far too many of the folks in the audience are too stuffy.
Her comments about celebrating the diversity among the pool of nominees was on point. She said, "If there were no African American, gay or Jewish people, there would be no Oscars." Of course she followed with a hilarious punchline but she has a very valid point.
With that said, who in the world denied Eddie Murphy the best supporting actor award? I saw "Little Miss Sunshine," and I liked it, but Grandpa didn't deserve that award. I guess Hollywood is really is cut throat. I guess we can't win them all. But, all was not lost.
Jennifer Hudson did win Best Supporting Actress. Then again, if they would have given it to anyone else, the folks up in there would have rioted.
And the performance by the cast of Dreamgirls was absolutely wonderful. Everybody up there sang their hearts out. They were nominated for a staggering three of five songs. What is amazing is that not one of them won.
Even with all of the great things about the Oscars, I want to know why they deem it unnecessary to show us ALL of it. I understand that everyone wants to be seen on stage and it's all about the little guy and all that, but on no other awards show do we see EVERY award being presented.
I stopped watching at 11:30 p.m. No other awards show can run that long and it won't because people won't sit there that long. Well ... I did, but that was because there were a couple of categories that I was concerned about. And it doesn't matter because the only person who won that I was really, really pulling for was Jennifer Hudson.
When are WE going to get an awards show that really celebrates black cinema?

Thursday, February 22, 2007

It is Oh-Fish-AL!!!

The American justice system has gone to hell in a hand basket.
In case you haven't been keeping up with this, and Lord knows I tried not to, the Florida judge ruled to give custody of the body of Anna Nicole Smith to her infant daughter. Well, the baby's lawyer and then said that he feels she should be buried next to her son in the Bahamas.
Here's a novel idea, why not just rule in favor of Howard K. Stern? That was what he was trying to do in the first place. Now I don't know this man, but it seemed to me that he was the one who was there for her at the end of her life, whether he was an "enabler" or not.
This case is getting more and more bizarre by the minute.
Britney Spears is back in rehab ... again!!! This is the third time in a week. Let's hope that the third time is a charm.
In keeping with entertainment news today, I am a little reluctant to inform you guys about Paul McCartney's ex-wife to dance with the stars this season. Hee, hee, hee.
As if we needed more evidence that I am going to Hell, I wonder - are they going to put wheels on the foot of her artificial leg? Won't that allow for better movement?
OK, that was wrong and uncalled for. But you gotta admit, it was hella funny. :-D
FYI: I haven't said anything yet about "Norbit" or "Daddy's Little Girls" because I haven't seen them yet. But in true "Tiffany" fashion, I will likely do a movie marathon this weekend. I want to see "23" too. I heard Jim Carrey is awesome in that movie. So you guys will get updates sometime next week.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Can we all agree ...

that Britney Spears has lost her whole mind and be done with it?
I mean really, so what she shaved her head? Maybe she felt like she would be purged if she chopped off all her hair. Nevermind that she looks like she's ill. Nevermind that nothing is wrong with her other than the fact she wanted to get rid of her hair and scores of people who are on chemotherapy are losing theirs.
I just hope that she at least donated her hair to Locks of Love because she is getting way too much publicity to have just gotten a hair cut. India.Arie wasn't on CNN when she shaved her head and neither was Erykah Badu.
Scratch that, I just saw on MSN that her hair will be sold on eBay. Say it with me folks, "ugh."
Anyway, I say, fuhget her, her bald head and let's tune into the rest of the world.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

V-Day go away ...

Is it just me or does this holiday suck? I am so glad that it is almost over, I about ready to throw a party to celebrate that.
This is supposedly the day that everyone uses to show just how much they love their significant others. But here's the catch, you have to spend a lot of money to show just how much you love somebody.
I'm sorry, call me a killjoy or whatever, I just think that V-Day is a reason for people to spend money on frivolous stuff. Take candy, what person can't buy their own candy or stuffed animals for that matter.
The only thing that is usually bought that people wouldn't buy for themselves is jewelery and that's another waste of money. You'd wear that piece of jewelery what, two or three times a year?
I say take that money and buy a set of tires. Shoot, the tires might be cheaper. And it tells the recipient two things, one, "I don't waste money" and two, "I care about your safety."
I think it's high time that we stop gauging how we feel about each other by the amount of money we spend on them. So I say we make a pact, from now on we buy gifts because we want our loved ones to have it not because we feel like we have to.
So come Christmas, ya'll don't expect much.
Check out my column on our Web site, let me know what you think.

Monday, February 12, 2007

I'm waiting ...

for Bernie Mac to stumble out of wherever he's been hiding to say, "I'm da pappy!"
How many men slept with Anna Nicole Smith - around that time? This is ree-diculous.
I really feel sorry for the child in this whole ordeal. That child will always be somebody's target because of all the money that she is bound to inherit. I sincerely hope that there is at least one person who is genuinely concerned about that little girl's welfare because I bet you someone is looking to off her too.
And I know I haven't said anything about the Grammy's but I have been a little busy. But I do want to say that I wish people would leave Mary J. Blige alone about her long acceptance speech. I feel like she deserved to have all that time and more. I mean it only took them 15 years to recognize this woman for outstanding work.
There is not a woman between the ages of 8 and 80 who have not been affected by at least one Mary J. Blige song. Show me a woman who has not listened to "Not Gon' Cry" or "7 Days" or "No Happy Holidays" and have it be right on time. Her ability to vocalize every woman's roller coaster of emotions in her songs transcends some of the world's best poetry and anything else that is an out pour of emotion.
So you dang skippy she deserved that time.
Also, I want to say that I am officially scared of these bad A-- kids in America. Some kid out in Utah shot up the mall while a small clique of girls jumped on a woman in Target for bumping into one of them and not apologizing. I tell you folks, this week's headlines are the best birth control anyone could ever ask for.
Just in case you haven't heard, an 18-year-old kid went to the mall and opened fire. He killed five people and intended to kill a lot more. One 10-year-old girl in Boston was arrested in connection with the Target beat down.
What is the world coming to when people can't even go to the store anymore? For those of you reading this who have children and refuse to beat them - this is what sparring the rod can do for you!!!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

OK, it's official ...

I think I'm going to Hell - on a scholarship.
Today when I found out that Anna Nicole Smith had passed on, the first thing I thought was, "Maybe it was all that Trim Spa." I know, it's not right, but lie to me and say you weren't thinking the same thing.
I don't know what to say to that. That is a lil' suspect. She dies just months after her son in what seems to be a death that is equally suspicious? Somebody needs to look at the folks around them. Somebody offed her.
Speaking of somebody who's off, two sets of parents up in Massachusetts are trying to sue the school system where they children attend school because their teacher read them the children's book, "King and King."
Unless you're completely naive, the book is about two gay princes who fall in love. The parents are upset because they feel like their parental rights were violated because they weren't notified that their children would be learning about homosexuality. quoted their lawyer saying that they didn't want their children to be "brainwashed." And it goes against their "religious beliefs" to teach their children about homosexuality.
Where do people get off being intolerant of other people and they life that they choose to live and saying that it is in the name of Jesus, God, Allah, Yahweh or whomever?
The foundation of most, if not all, religions is faith and love. Being anything less than tolerant and attempting to belittle or degrade people is not faithful or loving.
What folks fail to realize is we as people do not have a Heaven or a Hell to put anybody in so we are in no position to judge. Every single person alive has sinned, is sinning and will continue to send until your spirit leaves your body. Simply put, those folks who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
I applaud that teacher who decided to read that story, it shows that she is dedicated to turning her students in tolerant, understanding, productive members of society.
And besides, nobody came to my rescue when my teachers tried to teach me Algebra and Advanced Math, so they gotta sit through that too.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Now ... I've heard it all.

This woman was so serious about her stalking, that she wore a diaper on her drive from Texas to Florida?
On three, everybody say it with me, 1-2-3, ugh.
For those of you folks who have been living under a rock, Lisa Nowak, an American astronaut,is accused of stalking a woman who is dating a man that Nowak likes. That sounds right.
Usually I'm a little informed, but this is one of the most bizarre stories that I have ever followed. This woman described her relationship with the man in question as "more than a working relationship and less than a romantic relationship."
Yea, that makes sense. Those of us living in the real world call that a friend with benefits. I am just speculating here, but it sounds to me like Nowak, a married woman, was likely having sex with this man while he is in a relationship with the woman that Nowak attacked.
Now, I am a woman and I understand that there is always that one man/guy/girl if that's what you like, that you lose your whole mind over. Now eight or nine times out of 10, that relationship doesn't always end well.
Where we "normal" women would either curse him out, slash his tires, break a window or make a couple of prank phone calls, this crazy heifer bypassed that and went for the woman.
And she didn't want to just fight her, according to, this chick had mace, a BB gun, a new steel mallet, a new folding knife with a 4-inch blade, 3 to 4 feet of rubber tubing, several large plastic garbage bags and about $600 in cash. She was serious about that thang, ya'll.
This is why i think those people who are super-smart, like these astronauts, should be in arranged relationships. They are overachievers at everything.
Nowak just couldn't beat the girl up, from the evidence they found, it seemed to me like she was going to shoot her with the BB-gun if she tried to run away, mace her and hit her in the head with the mallet. Then she was going to tie her up with the rubber tubing, cut her up with the blade and put her in the garbage bags.
Super smart people placed in relationships like foster care. And then they should be with people who are as dumb as they are smart. Then that way, they balance each other out.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Man, I can't go anywhere...

It seems like every time I leave you guys for a while, somebody goes crazy or something huge happens. Well a couple of folks went crazy and there was a tornado down in Florida.
So let's make a pact, I will try to see you guys at least twice a week.
First off, I would like to extend my deepest condolences to those folks down in Florida who lost their loved ones and all their belongings in this week's tornado.
Now I know that this is no time to be bringing this up, but, am I the only one who feels just a little disturbed at how quickly FEMA reacted? I mean, I'm glad that they've improved their reaction time, but good grief folks, there are still people in the Gulf region waiting to get approved for trailers.
OK, I'll get down from that box. Let's not go there right now.
Now on to crazy people. What is up with Joe Biden? I mean really, Obama is "clean?" I certainly hope so. I hope he doesn't show up to the Senate floor smelling like "all be damned." And "articulate?"
Note to white folks: we (people of color who speak standard English) don't find it to be a compliment when we are called articulate.
Articulate is something you would call a two year old who's vocabulary is extended beyond "no," "duice," and "mama." To call an educated person who speaks properly "articulate" is an insult to him and everyone around him. You wouldn't call your white counterparts articulate.
I've got a suggestion to those of us "articulate" people of color. The next time someone white tells you that you are articulate, smile and say, "you too." That'll shut 'em up!
And Brandy?! Poor, poor Brandy. Yes, I am coming to the defense of a celebrity. Poor thing, a family is suing her for $50 million for a wreck that she caused on a California freeway.
Just where in the name of car accidents is she supposed to get $50 million? Now we know that she put out a few CDs and appeared in a couple of TV shows and made for TV movies, but $50 million she ain't got. I am certainly no authority on how much money celebrities make but I know she ain't got $50 million.
The bottom line is had Brandy Norwood been Brandy Norris, she wouldn't be getting sued. The police would have pressed charges a lot sooner. From what is being said in the reports, she did nothing wrong - no cell phone, no drugs or alcohol. This seems like an unfortunate car accident that claimed this woman's life.
I'm sure she's already beat herself up enough over the incident and I'll bet she doesn't drive anymore either.