Thursday, November 29, 2007

I am amazed ...

... at how well the Republican presidential hopefuls skirt questions.
Against my better judgement, I watched CNN's YouTube Debate last night to see what was up because I didn't have a candidate yet. Let's just say that I still don't have one.
Because of the nature of my profession, I refuse to publicly identify myself as Republican or Democrat. But like other red-blooded and connected Americans, I have certain issues that I would like the government to address.
Sadly, last night, none of them were addressed. There was no talk of health care - universal or otherwise - and no one discussed education. I know the candidates could only answer the questions that were asked so that's why I fault CNN.
I hardly believe that with more than 5,000 questions posted that no one asked about health care or education. It seems to me that the biggest issue on the Republican agenda is cutting taxes, abolishing abortion, sending all the brown immigrants back to their countries and continuing the "war on terror."
What's even more disturbing is the answers to the question asked by an African American father and his son about what the candidates planned to do to stop black on black crime. Mitt Romney gets the award for the Vaguest Answer of the Night because that dude started talking about how fortunate the boy was because his father was there and how "Bill Cosby got it right."
Romney brought up a statistic that stated 69 percent of all African American children are born out of wedlock and we need to start getting back to family values.
***This is the part where I cock my head to the left and turn up my lips***
So you mean to tell me that if my parents would have been married when I was born, that would stop some random black boy from killing another? You'll have to excuse me if I am a little skeptical.
The reality of it is none of the candidates can do anything about black on black crime or any other issue that the minority folks who were born here face. They are ill-equipped - always have been and always will be. To paraphrase Kanye West and Michael Jackson, they don't care about us!
Maybe it is just me, but I would think that the whole black on black crime issue would be in the forefront right now - especially with the untimely death of Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor. That man was 24 years old and was shot by an intruder while in his home.
I'm not implying that the intruder/murder/thief was black, but according to Fox Sports columnist Jason Whitlock, the statistics say the odds are great.
Either way, this is a tragic situation. With that said, I'm a little irritated by Whitlock's column - even though he spoke the truth. A lot of what Whitlock wrote is speculation, nothing more, nothing less.
I'm not saying that his checkered past should be overlooked or unaddressed. I'm not saying that we don't have our fair share of self-hatred.
I am saying that his speculation and ASS-umption that Taylor's murderer is black is premature.
He even went so far as to go on a five-graf tirade about how hip hop is to blame for black on black crime. Don't know how we got here? I don't either. I hardly see what any of this has to do with hip hop. As far as I'm concerned, Whitlock is no different from the white folks and the old folks who sit up and talk about how "they're doing it to themselves."
I will be the first to admit that the music has gotten out of hand, but make it the cause of all that is wrong in the black community. The real problem is those of us who are educated, who can put a face on what it looks like to be educated and do fairly well don't go back to our own neighborhoods enough to show these kids the truth.
We're too busy filling their heads with all this nonsense about being whatever they want to be if they put their minds to it. What if I want to be a coat rack? Or a park bench? What about race car? Can I be a race car?
To answer those questions, not just no. HELL NO!!! I can't be coat rack, a park bench or a freakin' race car because I am not made of the stuff needed to be any of that. What's the moral of the story kids? Everybody is not made of the same stuff as these professional athletes and entertainers. DANG!
***And for the record, I think Whitlock is referring to rap music, not hip hop. He's using the two interchangeably and he shouldn't be. That's like using woman and bitch interchangeably. The two are similar in nature but they are not synonyms. ***

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Hope you guys had a great holiday ...

... I know I did. I swear I think I ate for at least three days straight. I saw a lot of my family and friends and had an all around wonderful holiday weekend. But with all that, I still had time to stay on top of the news, well, some of it anyway.
The main topic of conversation between my brother and I was Michael Vick and his decision to go to jail early. Since neither of us knows what really happened, we both have our theories.
He seems to think that some team in the NFL has already told Vick that they'll take him after his sentence is completed. It's no secret that he's going to get about 12 months so if he goes now, he can come in mid-season next year.
I told my brother that his theory was well-thought out and it makes a lot of sense. My theory on the other hand - well let's just say I don't think it has anything to do with his career.
I think that Mikey went in early so he can avoid the family discussion during dinner. Until recently, the family embarrassment was Mike's little brother Marcus and his childish and sometimes dangerous antics on and off the field.
Now that Mikey's been caught abusing Fido and he's losing all his money, the family has a helluva lot to say. Ya'll know how black families are, word travels fast and eight times out of 10, it is the wrong information.
I imagine the conversation would have gone something like this:
Random relative: "So Mike, what happened man? ShayShay said something 'bout they got you on tape fighting dogs. Man, I thought you knew better than that. You know how white folks are about dogs. And then you taped it too? Man that was stupid!"
Random relative 2: "I know, right? I heard they fired you too. What 'choo gon do for money now? You know you can't do nothing but play football."
For real, I think he went to avoid it. I know I would have.
Something else that caught me kinda off guard was the Miss Puerto Rico pepper spray incident. In case you guys haven't heard, somebody spiked the evening gown and make-up of the newly crowned Miss Puerto Rico Ingrid Marie Rivera with pepper spray.
The woman smiled and kept her composure long enough to be crowned and receive her accolades but went back stage and violently ripped her gown off and packed her hive-covered face and body in ice.
Now, authorities are investigating her and her people saying that the sabotage was likely an inside job. I hardly think that she would douse herself in pepper spray and put herself through that hell.
I would be more apt to believe that it was a disgruntled make-up artist or a jealous rival(s). I mean, hey, those girls are pretty but they have a competitive nature that is out of this world. I don't know personally but I've seen just about all the beauty pageant movies out there.
Anyway, according to CNN, authorities are investigating Rivera because they want to know how the woman was able to keep her composure in front of the judges. Now, I don't know about beauty pageant jargon, but when I was in JROTC, we called that bearing. We were told no matter what was going on or went wrong to always keep your bearing. I just think she was trained well.
Either way, she has the crown now and she still has hives. They still don't know who did that to her, but I suggest when they find out who did, they lock the person in a room with her and then drop all the charges, if there are any.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Now ...

... now they've gone too far! First, Don Imus calls the Rutgers Women's Basketball team "nappy-headed hoes," then some random white lady called Hilary Clinton a bitch now, they're trying to make Santa stop saying "ho, ho, ho."
What does Santa have to do with this?
Apparently, some folks down under in Sydney say that some children may be frightened and some women maybe offended if the mall Santa sits atop his perch belting out "ho, ho, ho" all day long.
I mean dang, I know Santa dresses like a pimp and all, but I didn't think they'd resort to taking away his laughter. How many of us haven't been about somebody who has a jacked up laugh? Even then, you don't make them stop, you just don't say anything funny around them.
And on top of that, it ain't Santa's "ho, ho, ho" that the kids are afraid of. It's the fact that they haven't seen this dude all year, now all of a sudden, you're telling them they have to sit on his lap to get a surprise on Christmas morn?
That would scare me too. I mean, I am all for some free stuff but why do I have to get molested by Santa to get it?
I'm just saying, they have taken this thing a bit too far. Santa has been coming from the North Pole for hundreds of years to entertain the kids and bring surprises and he's had the same laugh, I hardly think that he's been doing it intentionally to disrespect women for all this time. Plus, if you get offended because Santa says, "ho, ho, ho" then maybe you should stop sleeping around.
Who wants to go see Santa and he's belting out, "ha, ha, ha." That makes him seem too real because he has a real person's laugh and where's the magic in that? If anything, it will scare the kids more. And God forbid Santa is being played by somebody the kids knows, every time he sees that person, that kid is either going to ask for something or realize that the pedophile Santa is Mr. Ratley from down the street.
Then on top of that, they are trying to make Santa lose weight. I saw on ABC News that they are hiring slim Santas in London this year to discourage childhood obesity. I wonder how that's gonna work out.
You take the kid to the mall to see that Santa who weighed 300 pounds last year and this year, he weighs a buck 75, don't you think that will send an even worse message?
"Ha, ha, ha kids, you too can be skinny! Don't you want Santa to bring you a crack pipe for Christmas?"
Whatever, they'd better leave Santa alone before we all don't get anything for Christmas. The last thing we need is for Santa to be on strike. We are already running out of new television episodes, loosing money on Broadway tickets and now they want us to give up Santa?
What next?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Alright, settle in ...

... this could get long. There are a lot of things I'm pissed about and I have to say. So you have been forewarned, this entire post may be void of any logical transition.
First and foremost, I would like to extend my deepest condolences to Kanye West in his time of grief. In case you've been living under a rock, Kanye's mom, Dr. Donda West, passed away Saturday night. To be completely clear about this, no one is sure of how she died. It has been reported that West had a couple of cosmetic procedures done and she died due to complications from the surgeries.
You read right, surgeries. According to a cosmetic surgeon who allegedly performed the procedures, West had a tummy tuck and a breast reduction. Dr. Jan Adams was quoted on saying that her performed the surgeries but West may have died from a heart attack, pulmonary embolism, or massive vomiting.
Of course the doctor is saying that she could have died from any of those things because he has to do an effective job of C.Y.A. Since Adams has come forth saying he operated, another doctor, Andre Aboolian has come forward saying that he refused to operate on West until she got a clean bill of health. According to Aboolian, West had a pre-existing condition that could cause complications or death if he did the surgery.
I'm not knocking plastic surgery at all, but if a doctor tells you that you should not have it then don't. I'm not even speaking ill of West, but I know for a fact that the new doctor had to have performed the same examinations that the first one did and he had to have found the same thing(s).
I want to know where the dang medical board is to prevent this kind of thing from happening. Surgery is surgery, I don't care what you're going to have fixed. If it requires anesthesia there's always the off chance that you'll die, that's why they have you sign that crazy wavier.
I sincerely want them to get to the bottom of this because the bottom line is if the doctor operated on West and he shouldn't have, he should be charged with murder, because he knew the consequences.
Speaking of consequences, when are we going to get some for overzealous police officers, particularly those in New York? NYPD gunned down a teenager who was armed with - a hair brush.
According to police, they responded to a domestic disturbance call in BedStuy from the teen's mother and the dispatcher allegedly heard the boy say he had a gun. Police say the boy had a black object hidden under his shirt and refused to stop while approaching police. After the boy failed to stop, the officers then shot at the boy - 20 times. Doesn't this sound straight out of a 90s "hood" movie?
It was just a year ago that they shot Sean Bell. And please don't forget about how they shot Amadou Diallo for picking up a damned wallet. I swear man, they must be training them to shoot to kill at the academy.
I have a suggestion. I say they start treating those cops like Andy Taylor used to treat Barney Fife. You can have a gun, but you only get one bullet and you have to keep it in your shirt pocket. If you run into a real problem, call somebody with some damn sense!
Protect and serve my ass!
On top of that, this O.J. Simpson preliminary hearing has been dragging on for days. We all know they are going to hang him, they should just get it over with already.
This is a preliminary hearing, it's preliminary. That means that this ain't even the real trial here. Do you know what preliminary means? They are trying to see if this dude qualifies to be sent to the grand jury. Then they gotta do this crap all over again to see if he gets indicted.
I'm already tired. They need to just let everybody go home and send O.J. before the judge.
They got him all over the news stations sitting down in the defendants chair acting like he's reading over a document. That dude can't read! I was young but I remember those "leters" he used to write Nicole before she died.
That junk is for show. If you ask me, he is looking over coloring pages his lawyers downloaded from I'm not saying there's anything wrong with coloring, in fact, I enjoy it on occasion, but don't try to play me like that dude knows how to read and understand all that courtroom jargon.
Johnnie ain't here to break it down in a cute lil' rhyme for him, so they're having to have his hearing Sesame Street style and it's sponsored by the letter "I" for incarceration.
And another thing, how come O.J. don't have a baby sitter? Usually when those people who are mentally challenged grow up, they have to have someone living with them or live in a group home to ensure that they don't hurt themselves. Who is his social worker? Somebody needs to get fired.
And just so we can clear this up, I am not calling O.J. mentally challenged, I would never offend them that way. I'm saying this bama is retarded and he needs to be watched!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Thank you Vets ...

... for fighting for my right to free speech and my rights to life liberty and to pursue happiness.
To my father, my stepfather, my brothers, cousins and anyone else who has ever served in our country's military:
I just wanted to pause on this day, the observed day to honor U.S. Armed Forces veterans, to say I appreciate all you do. The average American will never know the depth of the sacrifices made by you guys and your families.
So today, I thank each and every veteran of the U.S. Armed Forces. Whether you're in the Army, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard, Marine Corps or the Reserves, I salute you, I honor you and I respect you.
Your service has proven itself to be our country's most valuable resource and I know you don't hear it enough.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

I'm torn ...

... I mean, I used to be one of Dog Chapman's biggest fans, but I watched Larry King Live last night and I found the uncensored, unedited version of his rant with his son, who by the way taped him and sold it to the National Enquirer.
There is something to be said about the power of the spoken word. I sat there and I watched a man who was no doubt embarrassed. I'm just not sure if he is embarrassed that he said it or if he's embarrassed that he got caught.
I sat there and I watched him shed crocodile tears and bring on his "spiritual advisor" who is a black man to basically say, "he's not a racist." Dog is hell bent on convincing us all, himself included, that he is cool with black people. So cool in fact that he thought it was OK to say it.
I want to know what black person that he is so cool with told him that it would be OK for him to say it - repeatedly?
The man said the word "nigger" at least six times. I know black folks who say the word and don't use it that much in conversation. And, he called the girl a nigger. But, he's not racist, he was just angry.

The funniest thing about the whole situation to me was he said ignorance is the main reason that he used, not only that word, but other words, those with four letters, that people find offensive. He basically said that when he gets mad, he's too ignorant to come up with words other than profanity. But, as of last night, he was four days into not cursing. Pardon me, but whoop-de-damn-do.
So because you got caught using a word that a lot of your fans find offensive, you're sorry? He and Dr. Phil are very adamant about saying that this man has a 7th grade education and that he's ignorant. I say, so the freak what!!! The average 7th grader will tell you that the word is offensive.
I'm going to stick my toe over the ledge and say that his show shouldn't be cancelled, but I will say that I'm not going to watch it again. I can not, because I don't think I can watch that without thinking about how he's reacted. Granted it was a private conversation that should have never been made public, but my concern is how often he says it.
I just feel like he's sorry that he was caught.
Whoopi Goldberg made a great point on The View yesterday. They brought it up in the Hot Topics segment and Sherri Shepard shared how his comments really hurt her. Goldberg admitted that she's used a lot of less than kind words to describe people and the only reason nobody is offended is because they haven't heard her.
What's the moral of the story class? Don't use the offensive words that you don't want people to hear you say.
Again, it was a taped conversation, that occurred in April, that he didn't intend to be heard. But, the man admitted that his son and his girlfriend tried before to get him and his wife on tape saying something racist. Why in the name of Heaven and Hell would they not believe that he would tape the conversations they have on the phone? I'm sorry, nobody is that dumb.
Dog is not dumb. In fact, he's quite intelligent that's another thing that pisses me off about this situation. He's not so ignorant that he doesn't know the word is offensive.
Now the dude is saying he's got plans to participate in all these different forums and classes. I got a class or two I'd like to teach for him. The first is Vocabulary 101. The only texts required are a Webster's Dictionary and Thesaurus.
These books will actually kills two birds with one stone. One, he will be able to look up the words he wants to use and then find a more suitable one to replace it. And two, it will make him think before he opens his mouth!
The second class will be one Racial Sensitivity, no number, it doesn't need one. That class doesn't require a number because it is only one class that everybody should take. The first lesson is nobody is better than anybody else because your skin has a certain hue.
People are people. Oddly enough, there have been studies conducted on the DNA of people of different races and nationalities and it has been found that we are all 99.9% the same. It is that .01% that makes us look the way we look i.e. color, features, etc.
Here's a little lesson for Dog and anyone else who is uneducated in World History, we all originate from the same people in Mesopotamia. That's in Africa, so guess what - we're all black!
Welcome to the family!
I know we don't look alike, but don't worry. You have to be patient. Global warming does have it's positive effects. If we don't soon get it under control, we'll all be the same complexion as Harriet Tubman and Sojourner Truth.

Monday, November 05, 2007

My heart goes out ...

... to the girls who were abused at the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa. It saddens me that the main people who were put in place to protect these children are the ones who were hurting them.
In case you've not been keeping up with the news, or you just crawled out from under the rock you've been living under, there has been abuse alleged at Oprah's school in South Africa.
According to a report on, about 15 of the students went to the school's chief executive officer to air their list of grievances that included alleged sexual abuse by a dorm matron.
This happened on Oct. 6. That employee has since been removed and has been arrested and charged with 13 counts of abusing and assaulting at least six students at the school. She made bail and will make her next appearance in court in mid-December.
In an effort to thwart retaliation efforts by remaining employees, the other dorm matrons and the head of school have all been relieved of their posts.
Though this was no doubt a very tragic ordeal for the students and families involved. I think there was something positive to come from this. I think Oprah dealt with this the way she should have. She stood up and jumped head first into this thing.
People have been looking, hoping and praying for her to fail with this venture. She's handled critics in the U.S. and South Africa with grace and poise and should be commended. I'm glad that she has opted to see this thing through and has not abandoned her efforts to educate those girls.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Know what I hate?

I just hate it when people can't admit that they made a mistake and move on from it.
OK, so I'm a little late on this one. I hardly ever watch BET so you can't fault me for posting this up a full two weeks and some change after the fact.
Look to your immediate left and see if you recognize the man in the picture. Take a good look now: that's Money Mike or A Pimp Named Slick Back or Katt Williams. Arguably one of the funniest comedians working today.
Before this Bama dressed up in that pink suit and put on that noose, I may have said he was THE funniest. He missed the mark on that one though.
I learned about this last night while I was watching CNN's "Out in the Open," and they were talking about whether or not the noose was an appropriate Halloween decoration.
After listening to about a half hour of commentary from a couple of black folks and two white folks who hung the nooses as decoration, the host, Rick Sanchez, attempted to interview Williams to find out why he wore the noose.
He said, "I thought I was helping."
My first reaction was, 'yea right pal!' Then I said, well, let me see how he thought he was helping. This dude said that white supremacists seem to have a problem with where they are placing the nooses.
"They never put them in black neighborhoods," he said. So he basically went on to say that they mean the nooses for "n-words and I wanted to show them where to find one. I mean, I am that."
Yes, the man called himself a nigger and told white America on CNN, of all places, that he was a nigger. I had a very sad Halloween, but in the spirit of the holiday, I was haunted.
It saddens me that our brothers refer to themselves as such and they have a lack of respect for themselves and the rest of us. Sanchez asked Williams how he could have such a lack of respect for himself and people like him and he asked, "what makes you think I don't respect myself?"
The entire interview was a farce. I mean, Sanchez gave him an out when he asked whether or not he would change anything about that night and if there was anything he regretted.
And do you know what this dude said? "I regret wearing that pink suit. I regret not having my hair done ..."
Argh! What is wrong with people? The only thing I hate worse than inarticulate negroes on TV is an articulate fool! All of you are familiar with my disdain for the word nigger and all of it's derivatives and the word articulate, but since he doesn't care that he's being offensive, neither do I. I wish somebody would tell that brother what time it is!
Also in this edition of celebrities gone wild - Da Brat has thrown "anuthatantrum"(like the wordplay on her name and her second album?) and this one got her arrested.
According to the Atlanta Journal Constitution, my dream paper, the oh-so-funkdafied one was arrested in Tucker, Georgia for hitting a waitress with a rum bottle. According to a Dekalb County Sheriff's Department spokeswoman, Brat, whose government name is Shawtae Harris, got into a shoving match with the waitress and then hit the woman with a bottle that broke and caused "a deep laceration."
The charge is felony aggravated assault, because the bottle was the weapon. Under Georgia law, she is supposed to be held until her initial appearance which is supposed to be within 72 hours of her arrest. Since she was arrested early this morning, she'll have to be in court before the judges head home tomorrow.
This is the second time Brat has been in trouble in an Atlanta area club. For those of you familiar with the area, she was arrested in 2000 for an incident in Buckhead. Police say Brat pistol whipped a woman for sitting in the VIP area after she was told to leave.
The victim in that incident was cut on her face and had to get stitches. In that incident, Brat was charged with felony aggravated assault, but it was later reduced to misdemeanor reckless conduct in exchange for a guilty plea. Brat was ordered to serve 80 hours of community service, pay a $1,000 fine and serve a year of probation.
Now, maybe it's just me, but for future reference, if I am ever in the "A" and I find myself in an altercation with Da Brat, I am going to wear a catchers mask before I fight this chick. She is brutal - she's playing for keeps.
I just hate that every time those women look in the mirror, they are going to say to themselves, "man, I shoulda killed that heifer!"

Not cool Brah ...

... not cool at all! How you gonna do me like this Dog? I thought you were cool man! I was telling all my friends to watch you and everything! I was telling them how you were a good, decent, hard working dude! And then, you made an ass of me!
Brah, why would you say something like that to your son about his girlfriend? When would you ever think it is OK to use that word? I mean, have you not already been through enough in your life that you have to aggravate it with hate speech?
OK, for those of you who don't know Duane "Dog" Chapman, he's a Denver native who was made famous after he captured Andrew Luster, the heir to the Max Factor throne, in Mexico. He has a show on one of my favorite channels on TV, A&E, called "Dog the Bounty Hunter" where he and his team, made up of his brother, sons and super busty wife, capture some of Hawaii's most dangerous bail-jumping offenders.
I mean, I was a fan. The operative word here is "was."
Anyway, he was recorded while on a racist tirade about his son's black girlfriend. I have taken the liberty of copying a transcript Honolulu's Star Bulletin Web site. I must warn you, this is offensive.
Chapman: "Don't care if she's a Mexican, a whore, whatever. It's not 'cause she's black. It's because we use the word "n_____" sometimes here. I'm not going to take a chance ever in life by losing everything I've worked for for 30 years for some f____ n_____ heard us say "n_____" and turned us in to the Enquirer magazine -- our career is over. I'm not taking that chance at all, never in life, never. Never. ... If Lyssa was dating a n_____, we would all say f___ you. And you know that. If Lyssa brought a black guy home ... It's not that they're black. It's none of that. It's that we use the word "n____." We don't mean "you f___ scum n_____ without a soul." We don't mean that s___, but America would think we're meaning that. And we're not taking a chance and losing everything we've got over a racial slur. Because our son goes with a girl like that, I can't do that, Tucker, you can't expect Garry, Bonnie, Cecily, all them young kids ... 'cause I'm in love for seven months, I ... f___ that. ... So I'll help you get another job, but you cannot work here unless you break up with her and she's out of your life. I can't handle that s___. I've got 'em in the parking lot trying to record us. I've got that girl saying she's going to wear a recorder. ..."
What else can you say to that except, "Damn Dog." But, he did issue a statement, but only after he was caught.
Chapman: "I should have never used that term. I have the utmost respect and aloha for black people, who have already suffered so much due to racial discrimination and acts of hatred. I did not mean to add yet another slap in the face to an entire race of people who have brought so many gifts to the world. I am ashamed of myself and I pledge to do whatever I can to repair this damage I have caused."
Now, it could be that I've been listening to Maroon 5 too much lately, but, this incident really makes me wonder how often he uses this word. And I want to know why no one around him told him that this wasn't cool to say?
Either way, they say every dog has his day, I guess the sun is setting on his. Damn Dog, I'm so disappointed, Brah, so disappointed!