Sunday, December 06, 2009

This blog has moved ...



... and changed names. You can now find Smarty P. Jones at Smarty's World. Please change your blog rolls.

- Smarty P. Jones

Sunday, June 28, 2009

It came to me like an epiphany ...

My shero, Oprah, often speaks about having "aha" moments where in an instant, you get the answer to questions and issues you've carried around forever.
As of late, my life and my situations have been lending themselves to multiple "aha" moments, sometimes several times a day. I can say that today has been one of those days full of "ahas" and realizations. Today's realization: I hurt.
I hurt everywhere, all over and it's the kind of hurt that can't be soothed. My heart hurts, my feelings hurt. Hell, my soul aches. There's not an ointment, a salve, a compress or a damn thing to ease it. It's the kind of hurt that I can't articulate, but the stubborn Taurus inside has to try anyway.
Last night, gathered at my father's house, were a group of family and friends who have made it a habit to come on the weekends since my father's surgery to play cards, drink and have a good time. When everyone left, I noticed that they all left with a mate in tow, my dad's girlfriend was here and I am not ashamed to say that I felt alone.
I felt more alone last night than I have in my whole life. It wasn't that I wanted a significant other to be with, it was that I felt abandoned and disconnected. I think I always have. To the best of my knowledge, I have only felt truly connected to one person and now, that connection no longer exists.
I've been walking around all month long with an attitude, a chip even, that I couldn't shake. One I refused to cry about or even acknowledge went this deep. Today, in church, I realized this relationship, rather the demise of this relationship, has really taken its toll on me, on my mind and my body.
As an emotional eater, I have gained back 10 of the 30 pounds I've lost. My mind is constantly flooded with thoughts of what used to be and what will never be. I have started to process of truly mourning this loss, so came the tears, the unreachable ache and the realization that it is all for the best.
With that said, I'm on hiatus until further notice. I need to take some time and do the work on me that is necessary for me to move forward mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally and creatively. If you know me well enough, you know you can find me on Facebook For those of you who don't, I'm on Twitter at http://twitter.com/tsj2003grad. My Tweets are protected so you'll have to request to follow me.
Until next time, find your inspiration, find your peace and wallow in your creativity.

- Smarty

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Free Will.I

Long ago, I heard that school is life and life is school. I agree, life is high school and it gets a whole lot worse. Now this -ish is happening on TV, the Internet and all in the press.
I woke up today to a Tweet from one of my friends from college about my future ex-husband, Will.I.Am having beef with my least favorite blogger in the entire Blogosphere, Perez Hilton. Usually, I could give less than a damn about what Hilton has to say, but I followed links today to his video statement on his website and to Will.I.Am's on his site.

I'm going to preface this with the fact that I am NOT an advocate of violence but it is about time somebody hit this bitch in his mouth! YEA I SAID IT! I'm all for free speech but there is a level of responsibility that comes along with it and he has been the opposite of that.
One of the first things you learn in journalism school is you have to be responsible for everything you write and say. Since seemingly everyone with a blog and an opinion lately fancies them self a journalist, you should be treated as such. Be responsible for what you say, this stuff has consequences.
Now, everybody in this equation acted in a juvenile manner and it needs to be stopped. If I had to choose a side just based on the videos and the situations, I would have to go with Willie on this one. He got out ahead of this thing first with his drunken video when he got home from the after parties. Add to the that the fact that Perez Hilton, in all his Drama Queen glory, produced a 12-minute soliloquy and pretty much told on himself by acknowledging the fact that he intentionally said -ish to upset the situation and the fact that he "took to Twitter" to blatantly lie and say that Will.I.Am personally struck him in the face.
The dude's Tweet reads verbatim: "I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke." Now in his video he says it was the Black Eyed Peas' manager. There are so many holes in this story, it ain't even funny. And who Tweets after they've been assaulted?
Since all of this, Will.I.Am has started a Twitter account in attempt to clear his name. Personally, I don't think he should be buying into Hilton's particular brand of bull but it's not my name being drug through the mud either. I'm not being called a thug by a crying, blubbering idiot with an audience of millions. So yes, I understand his madness.
I just wanna know what Hilton was tryna accomplish going to Twitter. And why can't he be like normal people and not mention the fact that he got his ass kicked? Trust me when I tell you that if somebody kicks my ass, I am so not gonna jump on Twitter to tell my Tweeps that it happened.
When you get your ass kicked, you don't tell that. You gotta change up the story. He made himself a victim after he spent all that time running his trap about saying that because he dishes it, he could take it. Well, obviously, he couldn't take it because now he has a small cut under his eye and several Tweets to prove what Diddy has coined #Twitassness.
Hilton has managed to do what he has set out to do and that is draw attention to himself with this little cut he got on his eye and his river of crocodile tears. I swear, this mess has been like a damn high school soap opera all day long. It was a trending topic in the Twitterverse while there is so much real -ish going on.
SHAME ON YOU PEREZ HILTON AND WILL.I.AM! SHAME ON YOU! LoL.

*** By the way, my thoughts and prayers are with the families and the victims of the train collision in DMV today.***

Monday, June 08, 2009

Good news ...

I just got the best press release ever!
Brantera Music Group Inc., announced the star-studded line up of artists they tapped for "Silky Soul Music...An All- Star Tribute to Maze featuring Frankie Beverly." I'm so excited! Under normal circumstances, I hate remakes, but I miss real music.
*sidebar* Foolishness has taken over the airwaves and crazy-looking characters are masking themselves as musicians and artists when all they are doing is bastardizing the work of the artists who came before them.
OK, I'm back now.
Anyway, I'm sooooo excited. The have on deck Ledisi, Musiq Soulchild, The Clark Sisters, Mint Condition, Joe, my future ex-husband Raheem DeVaughn and Her Highness Mary J. Blige! I'm so freakin' excited I could just run a marathon! I said I can but I'm not gonna!
Another reason I'm so excited is I think Maze and Frankie Beverly are prolly the best band in creation - EVER! I've been tryna see them in concert for at least the last five years of my life and I've been unsuccessful thus far. Every damn time they're somewhere close, I always have something going on - ALWAYS!
The most recent concert I missed was Friday when they were at the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach, S.C. I was at a friend's surprise birthday dinner in Charlotte. If me and that chick were not down like "fo' flat tires" I woulda done my best to be in the place! One year, I had tickets and everything and I missed the concert tryna be there for a friend who was going through some serious -ish!
I have missed so many of this band's concerts that I wrote a short film called "Chasing Frankie." I swear man! Next time though, next time!
The project is due out by the Summer's end. There will be 10 songs on the CD including "I Wanna Thank You," to be recorded by The Clark Sisters, Kierra "KiKi" Sheard and J. Moss, "Silky Soul" to be done by Musiq da Soulchild. And the No. 1 song to jump start ANY family reunion, "Before I Let Go," recorded by Mary J. Blige.
I can't wait! This is like Christmas Eve! *jumping up and down*

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Things that make me smile 2...

5. Chappelle's Show Frontline: Clayton Bigsby sketch is prolly the funniest piece of sketch comedy EVER created! I miss Dave. *crying* Come back Dave!


4. Twitter Convos. These nuts have me literally laughing out loud, sometimes in the most awkward places, i.e. my cubicle, hospitals, in line at the grocery store, during the offering in church. I just love these crazy people, they keep my day going and they keep me from catching a case!

I gotta give a special shoutout to @deltalady @goodenufmother @karriedaway @4cap and others!

3. "Martin" and "Living Single" reruns are the best!
I remember finishing up everything (homework/dinner/caking with high school boys) by 7:30 so I could take my bath and be ready to watch these two shows every Thursday night! *sigh* I miss good TV.
My favoritest episode of Martin:



Don't have a favorite Living Single episode, can't pick one:


2. South Park Songs. Trey and Matt are comedic geniuses in a league all by themselves!
Case in point:

1. Music! I love music with passion. It's probably the only inanimate that I love just as much, if not more than, words. It's been said that it soothes the savage beast, I don't know about all that, but I do know that it's kept me from getting in trouble and it's gotten me into a little bit too. ;)
My favorite song of all time is Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell's "Your Precious Love." Marvin Gaye is the smoothest crooner of ALL TIME!
Shut it! I grew up on this music and so will my unborn children. They won't have a choice just like my siblings and I didn't.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Things that make me smile

Over the past two weeks, I have been on an emotional roller coaster. As some of you know, my dad just underwent pretty major surgery to straighten out his spine, realign some discs in his back that are now being held in place by rods and screws and to fix some spinal compression he had in his neck. It's going to be a long, painful road to recovery for all of us and I thank you guys for your prayers, positive thoughts and well wishes for my dad, my family and me.
My brother and I have been going at it since he got here, there have also been a few personal issues that I don't care to discuss anymore and add all that to the fact that this is PMS week. With all of that, I'm in need of a serious smile, aww Hell, I need laughter. And this got me to thinking, I should compile a list of the Top 10 things that make me smile and or laugh hysterically.
I'm gonna do this VH1 style and start from the bottom and go to the top. But I'm not gonna give 'em all to you in an hour or less, you gotta come back for the rest of them later.
So starting from No. 10, here we go:

10. Tyler Perry as Medea. Say what you will but this is funny to me! Everybody feels some kinda way about this dude and him dressing up in drag, but it's funny to me!
*Take that Rocky! :-P*

9. Reese Witherspoon in "Freeway." If you've never seen this movie, slap yourself and then go rent it! This movie came out when Witherspoon was unknown and my sister and I discovered it in the middle of the night while we were on summer vacation. It came on Cinemax so you know we had NO business watching it as 12 and 14-year-olds. Still, it's funny as crap!

8. The Cosby Show Reruns always make me smile if not fall out laughing. My favorite episode is when Cliff had a nightmare that all the men were pregnant. Another favorite is the Gordon Gartrelle episode and the ones where they performed for their grandparents. I could use one of those right now!


7. "Life" with Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence, Bernie Mac, Guy Torry, Anthony Anderson and er'ybody else! When I pop this DVD in I watch it like I've never seen it before. It's a combination of the funny ass lines and the way the actors portrayed the characters. Claude and Ray as old men still holds up and 10 years later, this movie is still hee-larious!

6. "Harlem Nights" with Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Redd Foxx, Della Reese and others. This is another DVD I can pop in and laugh all day long. If ever there were kings of comedy Pryor and Foxx are definitely among them. My favorite scenes in the movie include the exchanges between Redd Foxx and Della Reese because they sound like the old married couple who love to hate each other but would never get a divorce.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

What in the Hollywood Hell?

*whistle blowing* FLAG ON THE PLAY!!! OFF SIDES!!! TECHNICAL FOUL!!! STOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!
Now that I have your attention, It has come to my attention in recent weeks that a lot of producers out in LaLaWood have decided that it is a good idea to remake several cult classics and I have taken offense to the foolishness.
You guys know I am an aspiring screen writer and you know I LOVE movies with every ounce of my being. What you may not know is I love them to the point that I apply quotes from movies to everyday life. Sometimes, my family and I 'speak movie' to each other. It's hilarious really. Usually, the point is to use a line that either most people don't remember or haven't heard.
The problem is most of the movies we like, that are off the beaten path, are about to be bastardized with remakes coming soon to theaters and I HATE it, you hear me? HATE IT!
Case in point, "Fame." OMG, I (heart) "Fame" so much it's not funny.
It's not just the story line, for some of the performers, the acting was horrible. It was Debbie Allen as Lydia who made the movie for me, though, when she said, "You've got big dreams, you want fame, well fame comes, right here is where you start paying for it - in sweat!"
Shoot, after that, I was ready to work! And if you think about it, that applies to everything in life. Now, sadly, they're re-making it and they've gotten Naturi Naughton to be CoCo. *smdh*
If defaming "Fame" were not enough, these crazy people are planning to re-make "The Last Dragon," and make Samuel L. Jackson, Shonuff. I guess we haven't seen Jackson holler enough, now we gotta watch him claim to be "The baddest Mofo Low Down around this town!" *smh* Where will it end?!
I tell you what, if they re-make "The Wiz" I'mma have to cut somebody! I will phone up The Jaded Nyer to borrow one of her limited edition machetes and cut somebody!
Since we know that screenwriters all over Hollywood have run out of creativity and we know they're going to re-do it anyway, one of my friends, K.Rhone and I have taken the liberty to suggest a few folks we think should play the parts now and some posthumously. Enjoy!
Muahahahahahahaha!

Dorothy was played by one Diana Ross. She did a good job and I'm not sure who could fill her blinged out slippers, but I'd give Jazmin Sullivan a crack at it based on her amazing vocals and her ability to bounce back after she busted her ass!
Posthumously, I would say that Aaliyah hands down! She was just awesome and I think her sweetness radiated in everything she did, even that horrible acting she did in "Romeo Must Die."
The Cowardly Lion was played by Ted Ross who was soooo hilarious as the lion. I think the only logical choice would be the Velvet Teddy Bear himself, Ruben Studdard. He's got the voice (and the girth) for it. I think he'd be awesome!
Posthumously, it could only be Gerald Levert. And he woulda played the hell outta that lion and brought some, dare I say, Big Boy Swag to it.
The rusting, big woman loving Tin Man was brilliantly executed by Nipsey Russell. We kicked around a few ideas of Jamie Foxx and Anthony Hamilton as the Tin Man, but I finally settled on Dule Hill from "The West Wing" and more recently "Psych." I settled on him because of course he's an excellent tap dancer and his singing voice doesn't suck. But, Russell couldn't sing that well either.
Posthumously, NOBODY could EH-vah out Nipsey Russell, Nipsey Russell. So I'd keep him as the only one who could ever play that part!
As for the Scarecrow, he was brilliantly played by a young, Negro Michael Jackson. I thought, and thought and thought about this and K.Rhone added her own thoughts to this as well. Her first nomination was one Usher Raymond IV. My choice was "Iron Fist" Chris Brown because he's a better dancer.
Given Brown's recent troubles and the fact that I want this movie to do well, I don't think it would be a good look to have one of the most hated men in America in a principle role in this movie. So, Ursher wins by default.
Posthumously, I'd say Michael Jackson. LoL. That Michael Jackson is dead now and no one could top him for that.
And Richard Pryor is the best Wiz there ever was. K.Rhone and I both agree that The Wiz should be a "mature comedian" and I have several ideas, but none of them stick out as "The One." I think George Wallace, J. Anthony Brown, Steve Harvey or Miss Laura (yes, a female Wiz) could pull it off.
Now for the supporting roles, I'm just gonna name 'em all off and I'll let your imaginations wonder why. Here we go:
Ms. One - The numbers witch who came out after Dorothy killed the first Wicked Witch should be played by Katt Williams or Sheryl Underwood. Y'know Williams would pimp it out at the male witch while Sheryl Underwood would be funny as all hell coming through there with her numbers!
Crows Wanda Sykes, Chris Rock, Mo'Nique and Rickey Smiley. Do you really need to wonder why they would make the funniest crows EVER?!
Glinda the Good - I'm thinking Patti LaBelle or CeCe Winans for no other reason than their vocals and the fact that I'm sick of the light-skinned long hair chick being the "good" one in everything! OK, that was some childhood stuff creeping up, but I really do LOVE Lena Horne.
My wild card pick for the good witch though would be Miss Bebe Zahara Benet, the winner from last season's "RuPaul's Drag Race."
Evilene just HAS to be Jilly from Philly and that is NONE other than Jill Scott!

Kanye "The Gay Fish" West needs to assume Quincy Jones' role and produce most of the music and appear as the conductor to the music during the ballet at the end.
OK, whaddaya think? Who did I miss? Who would be your picks or did I hit the nail on the head?
A girl can dream, can't she?!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

About Jon & Kate ...

... leave them alone!
Please America, I'm begging you. For the love of all things holy and for the sanity and security of those eight innocent children, leave those people alone.
Yea, yea, yea. How dare I say leave reality TV stars alone? Because I believe it. So what they have a TV show on - cable TV. They are still entitled to their problems and issues in life but they DO NOT have a right to have their business and issues on front street for all the world to see.
First off, I am an avid viewer of the show. I think it's interesting to see such a young couple have so many children with so many different personalities deal with it all.
Secondly, I don't give a crap if they walk around with their own cameras filming -ish and putting it up on YouTube, who are we (America) to be judging anybody for what they are doing or not doing?!
OK, let me back up. Jon and Kate Gosselin married in 1999 after two years of dating. They experienced some fertility problems and they had trouble conceiving. They tried fertility drugs and long story short, they have eight children out of two pregnancies.
The had a set of twins first, Mady and Cara and later sextuplets, Aaden, Alexis, Joel, Hannah, Colin and Leah. TLC first approached them about doing a special on their unique family that turned into two specials and eventually a TV show. The show will begin its fifth season this summer and now we fast forward to their issues.
For the past five years, we've heard accusations about Kate's quirks and her need to clock Jon every few minutes. Regardless of the situation, they still appear to be a semi-functional family who is just trying to make it. Granted they thrust themselves into the public spotlight with that show but who can blame them for trying to make a little bit of change? They got eight kids to feed.
They have their issues right now with their relationship. Kate is claiming infidelity on Jon's part and he on hers. But the bottom line is people deal with these issues everyday - off camera. Why can't we give him the same luxury?
I think Michael Jackson said it best.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

It's my birthday, my b-b-b-birthday!

Well, well, well, exactly 27 years ago today the world was blessed with my presence. I am so happy to be blessed with another year of life. Life is good. I tell ya'll, 27 never felt so good. Well, I feel good, IDK about ya'll.

I'm looking forward to this new year. I'm following Rev Run on Twitter and he Tweeted something yesterday that will become my mantra for my new year: "Man should never be a victim of his moods, a slave of his feelings, his food or THE WEATHER! MAKE a happy day! Tell ur feelings how to feel!"
I like it. Hell, I love it! Now if I could just put this into practice.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

My name is Smarty Jones ...

... and I'm a girl.
No, it has not taken me nearly all my 27 years to figure that out, but it just kinda sorta showed itself in the worst way earlier this week.
First, lemme give you a little bit of background about ya girl. I am the last of four kids. The baby always bears the brunt of their siblings problems, I don't know why, we just do. In theory, we are supposed to be able to run to our parents and cry and point and wait for someone to catch a beat down. It didn't go that way in my house.
If I ran crying to my parents about something one of my siblings did, their response was, "so what are you gonna do about it?" This taught me two things: 1. Don't go crying to your parents for a problem you can fix and 2. Crying doesn't solve a damn thing! Maybe that's harsh, but that's what I got out of it.
Add to that the fact that I am the opposite of what one might call a "girly" girl. I played varsity volleyball, basketball and was on the track team. I was in JROTC. I have always hated dressing up. I still can't walk in heels. I NEVER wear make-up. And I only cry when someone dies or is near death and NEVER in front of people unless it's at a funeral.
Think of me as Sweet Pea in this clip. Well maybe not that extreme, but you get the point.
With that logic, experience and attitude, a girl learns to either suppress her feelings, go numb or fool herself into believing they don't exist. I'm very good at the last two. So much so that I don't trust anybody any further than I can throw them. And, I shoulda been a brick mason for the expert way I construct walls around my heart.
So I've been going through with this dude I got "feelings" for that I'm not ready to admit I have. I've always known how I feel, it's just never been this intense. Anyway, we ended up in a restaurant together recently where we had a "flirty" waitress. My first instinct is to call that heffa a ho, but I won't stoop so low.
This chick was blatantly flirting with this dude right in front of me. I mean to the point of leaning in to take his drink order with her titties in his face. Under normal circumstances, we both would have found this funny because she's sooooo NOT his type. We were NOT in Hooters and small Breastuses were not on the menu.
Everyone sitting in our section was constantly calling her to get stuff they needed. We didn't have to because she was always at our damn table. Long story short, I ended up having a sucky night because of this tramp and what it boils down to is I don't know if I was jealous or if I was feeling disrespected. Either way, this is NOT the kid.
Usually, I'm too cool for school and I let everything roll off me like water on a duck's back, but that ain't happen that night. IDK what my issue was, but I was pissed. I mean, I was really feeling some kinda way and I don't like it!
I have spent the majority of my (almost) 27 years building walls and trying not to feel anything and here he comes tearing 'em down and making me have - feelings. Ewwwww. I feel like a girl now.

Friday, May 01, 2009

Is it real?!

Right now, I'm reading a book right now, called "Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties." As you can guess from that long a-- title, the book is all about the -ish you go through in your 20s and I want to hear from my older blog brothers and sisters if you think it's true. Shoo, I do. I'll tell you why.
I've got exactly 19 days before I hit 27. I'm looking forward to it actually. I'm hoping life gets better in my 30s. Don't get me wrong, I'm good right now, I really am, but it's been an uphill battle tryna get here. Dude, my 20s thus far have been the opposite of paradise, OK?
Check it, I graduated from college early right? So I jumped into the full-time working world, feet first at the tender age of 21. Secured an internship that turned into a job that was a 12-hour drive away from home and an 8-hour drive to my closest relative. I'm the baby of my immediate family with a lot of cousins my age.
The two years I lived there, I endured some of the craziest events I've ever seen in my young life. I was diagnosed with Panic Anxiety Disorder and took meds that had me thinking about some wild -ish! Like that wasn't bad enough, I spent six of those months drunk five out of seven days, withdrew from the world even more.
Lemme tell you, anti-anxiety meds and alcohol does not mix! That -ish had me contemplating ending it all. It really did. Thankfully, I decided against it because I thought that would be selfish to my family and besides, suicide would have taken away from my fabulousness and I can't have that! Needless to say, I took myself off the meds and I stopped drinking. That mess was scary!
OK, so, I had to quit that job because it almost drove me crazy and I couldn't take being that far away from my family all the time like that. I moved back home to my dad's house and took a job at a big box store that has a big red 'K' in the front. That started the craziest nine months of my life.
After Christmas, I left that store and went to work with kids and young adults with behavior and mental problems and selling furniture part time. Yes, Smarty worked with bad a-- kids and people who wanted to buy furniture.
I think I sold a set of mattresses and a bedroom suite while I worked at that furniture store. But while I was working with those kids, I took a couple of kicks to the shin, a couple of pushes and a few punches to the gut - while I had cramps! I almost caught a case for that one! After that, I came back to journalism. I had to. The idea of getting arrested, going to jail and having to be Big Bertha's wife just didn't appeal to me.
My entry back into journalism wasn't exactly grand. I took a job in one of the most unlikely places. I was only there for six weeks and that led to my job now. That's a lot of five years, huh? *LoL*
Even with all of this craziness, all of these changes I'm still grateful for it all. It's all played a part in who I've become. It's helped me, I think, to make better decisions about all the issues that arise being an upwardly mobile woman of the 21st Century. But please God, and ya'll too, tell me it gets better.
Tell me that trivial crap will stop mattering so much and I'll learn to take trials in stride as they come without completely spazing out! I swear, my 30s are a couple years off, but OMG, please, tell me I've got something better to look forward to. Tell the truth, hell, lie to me, just tell me it gets better.
The Quarterlife Crisis is really kicking my butt! I'm sick of it all ready. I'm tapping out! No mas! Twenties, you win!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I love to read ...

... seriously, it's the only other thing in the world I couldn't live without besides writing, music and movies.
Last night, I finished Sista Souljah's latest book, "Midnight." For those of you who read her first fiction work, "The Coldest Winter Ever," this book is the follow up to that.
It really has been dang near 10 years since she's published a fiction piece and this is the result. We actually met Midnight, the title character, in "The Coldest Winter Ever," but this is NOT the sequel. It took hearing from one of my college classmates that it was not the sequel for me to actually get into it.
Just to give you a little background on Sista Souljah. She is a Bronx native who graduated from Rutgers University. She's traveled to several countries such as England, France, Spain, Portugal and South Africa for work and studies.
She's done a lot of work in her community as an activist organizing rallies against police brutality, racially motivated crime and miseducation of black children.
I got all this from the bio on her website. Since I'm no plagiarist and I don't feel like paraphrasing the whole thing, visit her site and take a look.
So, for those of you who have yet to read or see the book, it is hella long, but that didn't bother me. I'll read a story forever if it keeps me captivated and this one did. I like the way she writes and the way she describes things to the reader. Hell, even if my imagination weren't so active, I'd probably still feel like I was there watching the whole thing.
I found it to be fascinating the way she told the story completely from Midnight's point of view and how after all those words and pages, I still don't know his name. Still, I felt like I knew him and I wanted to hug him, shake his hand and take some of the burdens off his young shoulders.
But at the same time, I wanted him to know that life is not as cut and dry as he saw it. There are a lot of gray areas in life. Midnight is by far the most complex character I've read in a long time. He has so many layers that if he were a real person, I'd probably be terrified of him.
I'm not going to tell you anything about the book - what it's about, the conflicts - all I will say is I despise cliffhangers. I didn't even watch the movie "Cliffhanger" because I need to see what the freak happens. I feel gypped.
After days and days of reading this big, heavy a-- book, it ends in a damn cliffhanger! A cliffhanger! With all that, you'd think she wrote the last episode of "The L Word."
What's next? Will they kill off George in Grey's Anatomy too without an explanation? Will my dude in "Lie to Me" quit his job for no reason? This is why I hate suspense movies. I just NEED to know what's gonna happen! My imagination is too damn active to just let this rest!
Ugh!
*pops a Motrin for my migraine*

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Sometimes I Wonder ...

- Was it always cold on "Good Times?"

- Why did Thelma always whine?

- Exactly how many times did she get engaged?

- How come Willonia just walked in without knocking?

- Who left their door unlocked living in the Chicago projects?

- How come people never say "bye" when they hang up the phone on TV?

- Who picks the people to interview for these VH1 specials?

- How come I don't know half these so-called comedians and actors on "Ego Trippin's Black to the Future?"

- How do I become one of these random people on VH1?

- Speaking of random -ish on VH1, am I the only person who refused to watched the foolishness that was "For the Love of Ray J?"

- Who do I need to curse out and/or beat down over there to stop from putting that crap on the air?

- Why do people give a crap about these D-list celebrities finding "love?"

- Speaking of that damn word, why do you coupled off people want to set your single friends up with other single people?

- If you know both people well, shouldn't you know they're incompatible?

- Don't you think if we wanted to hook up with each other, we would have said something before?

- Why is the dating process so damn taxing?

- What is it about "you irritate the -ish outta me" that you don't understand?

- Note to men on the DL, "YOU'RE NOT AS STRAIGHT LOOKING AS YOU THINK YOU ARE!"

- Do you ever see an odd-looking couple and wonder how in hell they met?

- Is it wrong that I give them names and back stories?

- Do you think I'll be caught doing it and forced to stop?

- I'm contemplating a week of silence, think I'll make it?

- I'm gonna do the 5K Walk for Lupus Now in the Queen City of Charlotte on Saturday. You guys wanna help me reach my fund raising goal? I know it's a recession and all, but I know you got $5. Click the link and help a chick meet her goal!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK!!!

Lee Woodruff, a freelance writer and the wife of wounded ABC News anchor Bob Woodruff, has written a book "Perfectly Imperfect: a Life in Progress." Don't buy it. Seriously, don't buy it. No I've not read it, I don't plan to. I don't really need to. I'm not posting a picture because that book gets no play up in here! I'll tell you why.
First, lemme just say that social networking sites are awesome!!! They allow us to keep up with our friends, family and co-workers and they give us a chance to get not so up close but personal with some of our favorite celebs.
Thanks to Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, YouTube and an endless list of blogs, I have been able to meet and in some cases converse with some of my favorite celebs and journalists like Kandi Burress from Xscape, MC Lyte, Royale Watkins and Rene Syler. Actually, Rene is the reason for this post.
For those of you who don't know her, Rene did a four-year stint as an anchor for the CBS Early Show and she penned the book "Good Enough Mother - The Perfectly Imperfect Book of Parenting." You guys saw her more recently hosting BET's inauguration coverage.
She was let go from The Early Show about two years ago round the time that she underwent a double mastectomy to drastically reduce her chance of developing breast cancer. Since then, she's been working to build her web site and network of GEMs (Good Enough Mothers).
Since the book came out, Rene has been on her grind. First promoting the book. Then, doing speaking engagements and raising awareness about breast cancer, which both of her parents battled and last but certainly NOT least, raising two kids and a husband! *tehehehe*
Because we are friends on Facebook and I follow her tweets, I have seen a lot of her videos and read her blog on her website and I know she's coined a lot of terms. According to the U.S. Patent and Trademark office, she's even trademarked the terms "The Good Enough Mother," and "GEM," in 2006. And guess what else she trademarked? You've guessed it, "perfectly imperfect."
Because Woodruff and her publishers have allegedly stolen Rene's work, you'd think this could all be settled with a lawsuit, right? WRONG! Apparently, a judge has ruled that Woodruff and her publishers are merely exercising their first amendment rights in naming the book.
Not only that, apparently, Woodruff is on the speaking circuit speaking to groups about women's issues. Now, call me crazy, but this somehow sounds like this Woodruff chick is trying to jack Rene's swag - allegedly.
Ya'll know that I'm all for the First Amendment, but what I'm not for is bastardizing it for a monetary gain. I hope everything will work out for Rene but I also hope that you guys DO NOT buy this book. In fact, tell everyone you know not to buy that book.
I always like to see fellow journalists succeed, but I can't co-sign for anyone succeeding while trampling the work of others - allegedly. I hope Oprah and the ladies on "The View" get a hold of this story and do it objectively without the sympathetic slant.
Click her pic to visit Rene's site or click the link to visit her YouTube Channel. Follow her on Twitter or do a search for her on Facebook. If we're friends on Facebook, she's on my friend list. Send some prayers and encouragement her way, she's in the middle of the fight of her life!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

When I have bad days ...

... I usually find a song(s), usually Gospel, to get me through my day. Without going into detail, the last few weeks have been really trying for me dealing with death, illness and a whole lot of stuff I can't control.
So, here are a few songs that are getting me through as of right now. I hope they will be a blessing to you if you're ever in need.

"Praise Him In Advance" by Marvin Sapp


"My Name Is Victory" by Jonathan Nelson


"Just That Good" by Kim Person. Do yourself a favor and buy her CD.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Since we're writing letters ...

I got this idea from two fellow bloggers, Irene and The Jaded Nyer. They wrote a letter to their younger selves giving advice based on what they know now.
Honestly, I think this could be very cathartic but it could be drudging up old memories of things I'm not quite over. Either way, here goes ...

Dear Tiffany,
There's so much to say, I hardly know where to begin. I know you've seen a lot with your young eyes, but that IS NOT all that the world has to offer. The world is so much bigger than that Podunk wasteland you call home and you'll see that soon enough.
Right now, you're probably too young to see it, but there are people in your family who don't want to see you do well. They talk about you, put you down all because they see your potential, they see your drive and they don't want to see you succeed because you have dark skin and course hair.
They will talk about you. They'll call you tar baby, porch monkey and every other degrading name they can think of, but you're not that. You're better than that. They can see it and they hate you for it. Let them hate and and let them talk. You just keep doing your damnedest to prove them wrong.
You'll make them eat the words they spewed calling you dumb and saying that you'd be pregnant before you graduate high school. You'll shock them all by becoming the first in the family to graduate college - and you'll do it early, with honors.
Don't be surprised when they don't show up. Just know that they can't stand that it was you who did it first but revel in the fact that they will need you later. You don't need them to love you. Love yourself.
LOVE yourself, LOVE YOURSELF! After a while, you'll learn that you're all you have and if you mistreat yourself, how do you expect everyone else to treat you? If you start treating yourself like you're worthy, like you're deserving, everyone else will follow your lead. If they don't, damn 'em. You don't need 'em anyway.
Please stop being angry and bitter toward Daddy. He's going through a rough time right now, things will get better. He never intended for you to see how drunk he can get and how much weed he could smoke at one time. He didn't mean to almost kill you on the way home that day. Alcohol and weed is how he copes. It's not right but that's what he does. You'll understand him later when you spend six months of your life drunk damn near everyday because you can't deal.
In spite of his actions, he does love you. He gets better. He'll start going to church, he'll get baptised and when you get to college, he'll be your best friend. I swear, it's going to happen, you just have to be patient.
He'll be there for your concerts, your drill meets and he'll even come to your basketball games when you're riding the pine. When he gets himself together, he'll be your No. 1 fan.
You'll forgive him for all the broken promises and for ignoring you and taking you to places where you felt beyond uncomfortable. All of this will instill a healthy mistrust of men that will be a blessing and a burden later on.As for Mama, be as less of a burden to her as possible. I know she seems invincible right now, but she's going to get sick - really sick. If you can, try to get her to stop smoking. It's bad for her and it's going to jeopardize her health.
And regardless of how you feel, she loves you. Though she may not hug you or tell you, she does love you. She's been through a lot and she's showing you she loves you the best way she knows how.
She doesn't love your brother and sister more. She is trying to make up for what they didn't have in their father. Don't feel like she loves them more because she gives them more attention and accolades. Stop finding ways to hurt yourself so that she will hug and kiss you and give you attention.
That rusty nail in your foot will hurt like hell and setting your self on fire is NOT a good idea. That shit burns and hurts at the same time and you will never forget it! Besides, you won't need her attention all the time. You'll have Daddy to be your cheering section.
In spite of their constant teasing and your sister's need to use you as her punching bag, your brothers and sister love you. They're all hurting and you'll be the one thing they'll be able to control. Don't take that shit!
Mama and Daddy will write it off as them giving you a hard time because you're the baby. They won't see the bruises, inside and out. They won't be around when they knock the wind out of you and laugh about it. They won't be there to stop them from humiliating you in front of your friends and theirs. Again, don't take that shit!
Give as good as you get! Man up! Your sister will not stop beating your ass until you beat hers. She will continue to punch you in your face and sit her fat ass on your head until you promptly beat the hell out of her! Hit her one good time and while she's standing there stunned, jump on that ass!
Trust me, she'll stop. And when you get older, she'll drop about 100 pounds and you'll be bigger than her. Then, you can smack her around when you get ready! For real, it happens.
Mama's going to get married. Don't worry, he's cool. His kids are too, but you won't like them at first. Get over it now because you want her to be happy. OK?
Being the baby of the family, you have an advantage that none of your siblings do. You will be able to learn from their mistakes and not make your own. This will be a big help, but I warn you, do not become too cautious. Making mistakes spices up your life. It creates memories. I don't want you to look up when you're damn near 30 and remember that you spent your life over thinking everything and not participating.
Your friends are not wild and crazy, they're being kids. It might do you some good to take your cue from them and take the stick out of your ass. You might have some fun.
Last but not least, enjoy your life. Right now, you take sunny days and warm weather for granted. Later on you won't be able to just sit on the porch with a Popsicle and watch the clouds change shapes. You're gonna have to work your ass off just to make your ends meet. You'll have to figure out how to get through stuff on your own because you will have NO point of reference.
So, be easy and enjoy your life now. You've got plenty of time to be serious and grown later. If you stop taking yourself so seriously, everyone else will. Keep a song in your heart. Enjoy yourself, because when you get grown, it's on.

Love always,

Me

Monday, April 06, 2009

Open Letter to Alltel/Verizon

To Whom It May Concern at the Alltel Corporation:

My name is Smarty Jones and my father and I have been loyal customers of your cellular phone service since 1999. Until about six months ago, we have not had any problems or concerns that your cadre of (one-time) well-mannered and articulate customer service representatives could not handle.
In the past six months, my father and I have both encountered inefficient, inarticulate and down right rude customer service reps, and those are the ones in the stores. If we decide to call, we've both spoken to John and Raj who were set up somewhere in India I'm guessing because these guys were NOT in America.
As I understand it, Verizon has completed the purchase of this company in January. I spoke with one of the representatives for your company last June and was assured that I would see minimal changes and interruptions if any at all. Either that rep lied to me or you all lied to her, either way, I'm pissed about it.
We have paid our bill, on time, every month for the past 10 years. How many of your other customers can say that? It isn't that we are looking to be rewarded for being responsible but where's your appreciation for the dang loyalty? Where's your customer loyalty?
More recently, I have been having trouble with my Moto Q Smartphone that I purchased last May. Less than six months after I purchased it, it had to be replaced by the manufacturer because it would not hold a charge.
A week ago Thursday, I went back to the same store where I purchased the phone because again, I was having problems with this phone and to change my service plan. Now, the phone shuts itself down in the middle of conversations and I can not get the jack for the charger to stay put so that the battery can charge. In addition to that, I needed to down grade my service plan because I found that we have been wasting money.
I made the attempt to do some of this on the phone where I spoke to Raj who could not understand that I was saying that we don't need 2,000 minutes when we only use about 800 between us. When I asked to speak to a manager, he acted as if I'd offended him and the three prior generations of his family.
Frustrated, I went to the nearest store only to wait an hour and 15 minutes before I was able to be seen because apparently 20 other people in the area tried to call in and they, no doubt, talked to Raj too. After waiting all that time, one of your immaculately dressed but incredibly dizzy customer service agents in the store ordered a "new" phone for me and changed my service plan to 1,200 minutes per month instead of the current 2,000.
I was told I would receive my phone in four to six days. Eleven days later, I still don't have a phone and I'm walking around with a partially charged phone that has been on the charger for two days. *smdh*
Given the circumstances, I was forced to make another trip to the store where I was told by another associate, with a pissy attitude, that the wrong address was typed in as the delivery address and my new phone was somewhere in Kentucky and my service plan had not been changed.
This sir/ma'am is highly unacceptable for a pair of loyal customers. While I'm sure this is just the result of piss poor management somewhere other than the executive level, *sarcasm* my father and I don't appreciate being jerked around because of the incompetence of your employees.
There are too many intelligent people out of work for you to have an assload of incompetent, inarticulate fools running your stores and call centers. In the event that something does not change between now and May 2010, your company will lose the Grice/Jones cell phone account.
Thank you for your attention in this matter.

Sincerely,

Smarty Jones

Friday, April 03, 2009

The Book, The Final Episode

OK class, so yesterday, we learned (or already knew) from "Think Like a Lady, Act Like a Man," that men are simple, they need three things for relationship survival and they are not talkers. The day before that we learned that they are driven by three things and they love differently than we do.
I've also shared some personal situations and emotions in relation to this book with you. I told you yesterday that the part of the book that stated that men don’t talk is where I started to get pissed off. It’s not that I saw myself or my situation. It just kind of bothered me that this is the information that the author, Steve Harvey, felt is appropriate to teach women.
Harvey states over and over in his interviews that he is no expert, but be prepared for the title when you write a book that becomes a “relationship/self-help” guide or manual. Since he’s thrust himself in the position, allow me to crucify his ass like one.
With that said …

ACT LIKE A LADY
It is no secret that a large majority of women of color who are college educated, sometimes with multiple degrees, successful in their careers are single. In a lot of cases it is by choice, but with my friends and me, it is more by circumstance than anything else.
Apparently, strong and successful women intimidate a lot of men because we either put out a vibe or they determine by looking at us that we don’t need a man. I’ll wait while you roll your eyes, suck you teeth and laugh …According to Harvey, before men look at us, they size us up based on what we’re wearing and how we carry ourselves (I hate that phrase) and determine whether or not they can “afford” us. *smh* If we’re wearing nice clothes, carrying expensive designer bags with our hair and nails done, wearing fabulous shoes with flawless make-up, the “average” man determines that we are taking care of ourselves and by their definition not needing a man to take care of us.
*smdh*
First of f$%kin’ all, I have never been the make-up, dressing up type chick who cared about name brand anything. Give me some jeans that fit and a pair of Nikes, some lip gloss and I’m cool! That's the kind of girl I am LoL. Harvey basically said I am camouflage. LoL. Ohh-kay.
In the same chapter, he also says that we need all of that to make ourselves aesthetically pleasing to them. So by his logic, the things that attract men also repel them. I thought they were supposed to be simple. *hmph*
The book says that over time, women have evolved into these strong beings out of necessity because men have been making babies and running out on the women for the past three generations so we’ve had to make up for what we missed having men around.
I can see that. What I can’t see is how we evolved but men haven’t. By this logic, we have to cast aside the things we were taught by our mothers and our grandmothers about being strong and not taking any -ish from men.
For example, where some of my female counterparts shudder at things like spiders and mice and others of us just get rid of the damn pest by any means necessary, we’re supposed to jump on chairs, scream and point so he can poke out his chest and swoop in like Captain Save ‘Em and take care of it.
By Harvey’s logic, we have taken away two of the three ways a man shows his love. We’ve eliminated provision and protection. Pardon me, but this is a crock of shit!

SHOW HIM GRATITUDE
If that isn’t enough, we are supposed to congratulate them for their “help” if they step in and wash a dish, do a load of laundry, wash the car, cut the grass and everything else their asses should be helping with to keep a household going.
If this is being lady like and the reason I am still single, thank you Jesus and three other black men! I can not will not stroke anybody’s ego. And I especially don’t reward people for the –ish that they should be doing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying let all the good deeds go unmentioned. Even a dog likes to hear they are being a good dog. But, I am not going to break my neck to thank you and/or throw you down to violate you every damn time you do what you are supposed to do.
I tell you what I will do though. Men like sports, right? Nothing says "Job well done," like a pat on the ass. I say every time dudes take out the trash, cut the grass, wash the car, anything to help out, I say we pat 'em on the ass! We could start a brand new craze that sweeps the nation.
Honestly, aren't relationships are designed to be a give and take kind of situation? To paraphrase a couple I interviewed earlier this year who has been married nearly 49 years, “(relationships) aren’t always 50/50. Sometimes, I don’t have 50. Sometimes, I might only have 30 and she has to make up the other 70.”

WHAT I THINK
So, my logic begs the question, will I act this way to get a man. The answer to that is not just no – HELL NO! And if men are honest with themselves, they don’t want this either. According to my own independent research, men want honesty, they want real women, well how in the hell are we gonna be honest and real running around playing the damsel in distress to a man who get validation from killing a mouse? *smh*
Call it what you will, but asking me to put aside my strength and independence is asking me to shed the very essence of my being. If this is lady like, I don’t want it. Is this is what I have to do for love, I’ll be OK. I’ll take Madea’s advice and get a puppy and a gold fish for company and somebody to light up and be happy when I get home at night. *smh*
Harvey calls this “playing the game” and I can’t get with that. We’re grown now. It’s time out for playing games – these kinds of games anyway. I don’t play games with my heart. This is the very reason I don’t like to make decisions based on how I feel because other mofos are out here playing “games.’ *smh*
And to think, I thought this dude had something to say.

WHAT I'LL TAKE WITH ME
Overall, I have to say that this book has opened my eyes to my own power as a woman. I'm not sitting over here with the evil laugh or anything but the ball is definitely in my court. And yours too ladies.
Ultimately, we have the final say so in how men treat us. I love Betty Wright, but she was wrong when she said, "Having a piece of man is better than having no man at all." If you settle for less, you get what you deserve.
It's all up to us, ladies. Men treat us as bad as we let them and it all begins with our standards or the lack thereof. That much I agree with Harvey on. He even gave a list of 10 questions for women to ask themselves to formulate our standards and requirements. I have yet to answer these questions for myself because I am still working on my answers. Our resident RBW, Eb the Celeb did answer them, though. Go take a look to see what she had to say.
Well, that's all I got. It's up to you now. Read the book - or don't. It's up to you. It's entertainment if nothing else. :)


Thursday, April 02, 2009

The Book, Part 3

Yesterday, I delved into some of the things in Steve Harvey's book, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," that stuck out to me. Scroll down, you'll see things like, "What Drives Men," and "How They Love."
While these things stuck out to me and brought insight, the following enlightened me and annoyed me at the same time. Again, I'm mildly impressed because I've never felt both things at the same time.

MEN ARE SIMPLE
Well duh! I've been saying that for years. One of my fellow bloggers, The Jaded Nyer, even says that the Y-chromosome is a birth defect. LMAO!!!
While I won't go that far with it, I will agree that they are simple. Real simple. Like, boiling water simple. That's not a bad thing, it's actually a good thing, that means it doesn't take much to make you happy.
At least it seems like it doesn't take much to make you happy. You are all far more complicated than this book lets on. I'm not saying that I'm looking to this book for ALL the answers but Harvey is telling half-truths.

WHAT THEY NEED
The book says you only need three things: love, loyalty and support and the Cookie.
Apparently men need our love, that's a given, I think. Nobody wants to be in a relationship where they don't feel loved. If they do, I think that's a cry for help that you just need a warm body next to you and there are deeper issues.
Secondly, he says they need loyalty and support. He's basically saying that a man wants to know their woman is gonna be their ride or die chick no matter what. I took this to mean that they want us in their corner for all the decisions they make no matter how crazy or rash we think they are, they need to know that we'll support them in it and that we will love only them.
I can understand that. That's what women want too. All I'm saying is reciprocity is the name of the game!
Last but certainly not least, men need The Cookie and I don't mean Toll House either! The book, and every man I know, say they need sex like they need food and air so it's cruel to make them wait for it. *smh* Make up your damn minds is what I say.
Every man with a daughter or a sister or a cousin that they treat like a sister is going to tell a woman to hold on to her most prized possession. I got the "Don't let a dude talk you out of your draws" talk more times than I can remember, yet ya'll say you need it. *smh*
Ladies, a word from the wise - you can not control a man with sex. He'll go get it somewhere else, they always can. That is basically what Harvey says in the book, but I've seen it with my own four eyes. Holding out NEVER turns out well.
Hell, I know so many women who hold out to prove a point. I still don't get that. I have never been that chick. My logic has always been, "Cause you mad I can't get none?" That's ri-damn-diculous!
Shoot, give him some and still be mad! That will mess him up! OK, that was me talking. Let's get back to the book.

MEN DON'T TALK
Another thing that Harvey said in the book that is hella obvious to me is men are fixers, not talkers. I agree with that to a certain degree. Lemme explain.
I work in a highly stressful field. In previous jobs, I have been threatened, called all kinds of racial slurs, found nooses, you name it, it's probably happened to me. Sometimes, I just want to vent. Hell, sometimes I need to vent. You can't walk around with all this stuff bottled up inside you, that's how people go postal.
On separate occasions, I have called my father, my brothers and the dude I mentioned yesterday to vent. The problem with that is I could barely do it, they all interrupted me offering solutions when I just wanted to put it all out there. Then it became an argument because I told them, I don't need them to fix it, I just want them to listen.
I think, perhaps, the more accurate way to say this is men don't talk to women because they damn sure talk to each other. They may not do it over coffee or a glass of wine or in the middle of the book club meeting, but they do talk. They talk to each other during half time, on the golf course, at the gym, shooting pool. I guess doing manly things takes the femininity out of actually talking through your issues.
Harvey advises that in the event you do need to talk to your man, never begin the conversation with "We need to talk," because he puts up his defenses and he is then hearing defensively. According to Harvey when men hear those four words, the immediate thought is, "What I do now?!" He advises to begin with, "Nothing's wrong, I just need to vent for a few minutes," or just start talking about the issue.
Either way, this is around the time this book started pissing me off again and I started taking issue with Mr. Harvey's words.

***More to come tomorrow***

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

The Book, Part 2

So, yesterday, I gave you guys a couple of reasons why I decided to read "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." I told you that most of what is in the book is information that deep down in our heart of hearts, women already knew.
I can't speak for all women, but I can speak for me and some of this, I knew. There's something funny though, even when you know stuff, there's something about seeing it in print that makes it true.
To start, I'll give you a brief synopsis of my background. I am the baby of my family. I have two older brothers, an older sister, two step-brothers and a step-sister. My parents split when I was four, I'm not sure why, but I have my suspicions.
In high school, I played sports and participated in my school's JROTC program. This gave me an opportunity to hang out with a lot of guys. In hanging out with these guys, and having a father and a brother who have been known to date more than one woman at a time, you pick up on stuff - a lot of stuff!

WHAT DRIVES MEN
In the book, Steve Harvey says that there are three things that drive a man: who he is, what he does and how much money he makes. According to Harvey, a man is not ready to settle down and take on the responsibilities of a wife and family until he is confident in all three areas.
I knew that, for the most part. Like most women, I applied the book to my current and past dealings with men (and boys) to get a better understanding. When I read this, I started to understand why I have been disregarded and written off at certain times in my young life.
For example, I am currently in love (yea I said it) with a dude that I been on a merry-go-round with since the 10th grade! In our adult lives, we have each other's everything, best friend, pal, confidant - you know, all the stuff in The Golden Girls theme song and R. Kelly's joint "Homie Lover Friend."
We've never had the "adult relationship" that I want. Without going into the details and pissing myself off, I will say that Harvey made a lot of sense with this statement. This dude knows who he is, he knows what he wants to do and he's taking the steps to get there because he knows how much he is going to make.
He's about to graduate in May with a master's in public administration and take the certified public accountant exam in December. (Yes, he is a nerd, just like me!)
Because he's been on his grind, working full-time and going to school full-time, he barely has enough time to sleep, let alone give me all of what I need to feel secure and loved. So, I understand.

HOW THEY LOVE
As I read further, Harvey says that a man shows his love differently than a woman. Where we, ladies, like to coddle and spoil our men they show their love by doing three things: professing, protecting and providing.
Basically, if a man loves you, he wants everyone within ear shot to know that you belong to him. It sounds cave man-like, but whatever. Anyway, Harvey says that if a man loves the woman he's with and has plans for her, he will introduce her as his lady, his girlfriend, his fiance, his future wife or whatever his intentions are for you.
With that said, if he introduces you as a friend or simply by your name, hang it up, he has no intentions for you beyond friendship. He will sleep with you, but he won't wife you up! I won't lie, when I read this, it pissed me off. I put the book down for about a week. I was mad. I've only ever been introduced by this particular dude as a friend.
Anyway, after a week of brooding and being depressed, I picked the book up again and the depression subsided because he then moved on to the protecting portion.
Said dude has always been the type to walk between me and cars, putting himself between me and strange people (particularly dudes), he was ready to jump on the highway and drive 12 hours to promptly whoop some ass after a man had offended me back in the day at my first job. This dude even offered to buy me a gun when I lived in my first apartment all alone because I needed "protection."
It made me smile.
When I got to the part about providing, my smile grew to an all out grin because according to this book, a man will move heaven and earth to provide for the woman he loves. Providing means paying the bills and buying the food and providing all those things that people need, the food, shelter and clothing.
Of the 11 years we've been going back and forth, I don't recall paying for a single thing. A stick of gum, a soda, nothing - haven't paid for it. I've tried, he won't let me always saying, "let me be a man!" LoL. So, I let him. I don't even offer anymore. I'm letting him be the man. Whatever that means.

More to come tomorrow. Stay tuned.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Book, Part 1

Lately, Steve Harvey's book, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," has been getting a lot of press. Some bad, but for it most part, it's all been really good.
First off, this dude, a comedian, has soared to the No. 1 spot on the New York Times Bestseller list. That is the most coveted position of all writers. And, he did it selling a book that is categorized as "relationship/self-help."
*applause*
Harvey, 53, is a Cleveland native (who I thought was from Chicago) is the host of a syndicated morning radio show, one of the Original Kings of Comedy, an actor and now an author. He's a Renaissance man of sorts.
Usually, I don't buy into the hype of whatever the latest new trend is but when a pair of my favorite RBWs, Oprah and Eb the Celeb, and gave it the thumbs up, I had to see what all the hype was about.
I not one of those people who does everything that Oprah says, but I do listen to what she has to say. It's the same with Eb. I don't always agree with her, for example, I love Jennifer Hudson's album and she doesn't. But I do trust her opinion.
So, I read the book. It took me the month of March, but I finished it. And I have to say, I'm mildly impressed with it. He made some very valid points that, if we're honest with ourselves ladies, we already knew were true.
Since he's been doing press with the likes of Oprah, Giant magazine, the Philly Inquirer and others, he has given a pretty good idea of what the book is all about. Another blogger, The Savvy Sister, broke the news of Harvey's book having at least the same title of a book written by one Sharon P. Carson. In his show today, I'm told, Harvey had his publisher on to talk about how they came up with the title.
Originally, the title was "Act Like a Girl, Think Like a Man," and Harvey did not want to offend anyone so they changed it. I'm not sure if I buy it. You'll find out why in a later post as to why the whole "Act Like a Lady ..." thing offends me.
Until then, prepare yourselves, for the next few days, I'll be delving into the book and giving you my "interpretation of the sitchy-ation!"

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Sometimes I Wonder ...

* What ever happened to background dancers for rappers?

While we're talking about music, I wonder:
* How come rappers don't dance anymore?
* Why do they feel a need to have 175 other people on stage with a microphone?
* How long do we have to wait until real hip hop comes back?
* Why is it that the best singers and performers become victims of drugs and alcohol abuse?
* How come we don't have anymore super labels where every artist is a hitmaker like classic Motown, Uptown/MCA, Jive and Laface?
* Am I the only one who can't listen to this new music?
* Why do I have to resort to my mp3 player with the FM converter in the car?
* How come nobody ever has sightings of dead black singers like white folks do Elvis?

In sports, I wonder:
* Am I the only person who could care less about the NBA?
* Is it just me or have the players gotten boring and ugly?
* Why did it just register that Oklahoma has a team now?
* How in hell did the owners come up with a nickname like "Thunder?"
* Shouldn't they have been the Tornadoes?

In general, I wonder:
* Is ugly the new cute now?
* Why one of my little nieces think's Weezy is cute.
* If I should have laughed when I told her parents to have her eyes checked.
* Are talent scouts on the look out for ugly talented people?
* Should I still say ugly or have we gone PC with that too?
* What would be PC for ugly anyway, attractiveness deficiency?

Monday, March 23, 2009

Another one bites the dust

Well, another one is over. Another fabulously wonderful television show has ended and again, I am verklempt.
In case you have been living under a rock or your cable company is homophobic, like mine, and doesn't offer the Logo channel, the show I am referring to is "RuPaul's Drag Race."
First of all, this show has two of my most favorite things in the world, gay guys and reality show competition. I think the general idea was to make this "America's Next Top Model" meets "The Crying Game." Regardless, I effin' loved it!
RuPaul has always been FIERCE. In the show, we got a chance to see him in and out of drag. Personally, I like to see him in drag. Call me crazy but I somehow feel good about knowing that he has to put all that work into something I was born with! *sticks tongue out* Take that, Loca!
Like all reality TV shows, there are the stereotypes, all of them are gay so that one doesn't apply. What I liked about this one is that there were two people in that b$%tch role who played it very well. Then of course there's the minority, here though, there were a few and I liked that. The one you really rooted for but could never get it right. The weird one, the whiner who got on my good nerve and the one who smoothed things over.
I'm telling ya'll, this show was awesome!!!
For so long, all I ever knew about drag queens came from RuPaul, who we really didn't know, and the movie "Wigstock." Both were pioneering for drag performers, but I think this was a step in the right direction to have drag performers be humanized.
So much of what they do is illusion and make-up and wigs and a lot of people tend to see them as fake people who feel like they are stuck in the wrong body. This show challenged that and became, dare I say, pioneering?
While there was a whole lot of Tom Foolery going on, there were a lot of issues brought up like HIV/AIDS, poverty and homophobia. All of these things need to be discussed on a huge stage and I commend RuPaul and the show's other producers for giving us this awesomely entertaining show.
To all the performers - Victoria , Tammie, Akasha, Jade, Ongina, Shanelle, Rebecca, Nina and especially the winner Bebe Zahara Benet, you all made my Monday nights. And best of all, you didn't eff it up!

Picture is property of Logo.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

You missed a great show!

So, I wanna give a great big shout out to The Jaded Nyer for having me on her show. I had a great time, I got to live my dream of being one of the talking heads on the radio.
Check it out:
We still didn't get anything accomplished other than the fact that she hates Tyler Perry movies and I don't. LoL. And guess what people, there was no blood shed. A few folks pulled out machetes and gats but still, nobody died.
All in all, we had a good conversation and we basically decided, decreed and agreed that we've got to do it ourselves. It's time we stop waiting on the big Hollyweird studios to produce our stories, we've got to get on our grind and start helping each other.
So right now, any aspiring director, producer, screenwriter make contacts with other folks who are either doing or want to do what you want to do and help each other out!
To paraphrase the wonderfully fabulous RuPaul, "If we don't help ourselves, how in the hell do we expect anyone else to help us? Can I get an 'Amen' up in here?"

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

What are you doing on Monday night?!

I know what you oughta be doing! You oughta be checking me out on The Jaded Nyer's BlogTalk Radio show.
This show came about after a conversation The Jaded Nyer, 12kyle and The F$%k It List and I had about one Mr. Tyler Perry.
Monday night, we won't have any of those pesky typos getting in our way! We'll be going head to head and the gloves are coming off!
OK, so it won't be the Rumble in the Jungle, but it's going to be a great show! I mean, what else could you be doing at 10 p.m. on a Monday? There is nothing on TV and you need something to help you unwind from the God-awful day that is Monday.
Tell a neighbor, tell a friend, call all your cousins and your mama 'nem! Tell 'em tune into to BlogTalk Radio on Monday night.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Today, I'm sad.

One of my favorite shows met its demise last night around 10:04 EST. *sniffles* Showtime pulled the plug on "The L Word" and I am not over it. Honestly, I'm not sure if I will get over it.
First of all, if you weren't watching "The L Word," I don't know what you've been doing with your life for the past six years. Let me try to explain.
I happened onto this show by pure circumstance. Toward the end of 2003, one of my best friends from college asked me if I'd seen this new show that follows the lives of a group of lesbian friends.
The convo went a little like this:
TQ: Have you ever seen that show "The L Word" about this group of lesbians?
Me: Hell no! Why would I want to watch that?!
TQ: If you can make it through the first episode, it's a great show.
Me: I'll have to take your word for that one.
TQ: For real, it's a good show. Did you watch "Queer As Folk?"
Me: Yes, but that's different.
TQ: Why? Because they were men?
Me: Yeah. I don't want to watch women in sex scenes together. *shudders* Ewww.
TQ: *laughs* Just make it through the first episode and it's a good show.
To make a long story short, I was living in Tennessee in an apartment that had Showtime on Demand. It was one of those days where there was nothing on TV and I had seen every movie that had come on Lifetime that day. I decided to take a gander at what TQ was talking about. I was bored, I didn't have a damn thing else to do, so I watched. That Saturday afternoon, I was introduced to a show and a cast of characters I won't soon forget.
I won't front, at first, the show was a little hard to watch. Not only were these beautiful women making out (I hate that term) and having sex, but I couldn't get "Flashdance" out of my head whenever Jennifer Beals character "Bette" was in a scene.
I have to admit, TQ was right, once the initial episode was over, I had to keep watching it because the storyline was freakin' awesome! The writers on that show wrote such great stories that I had to keep going back to watch it.
After about the third episode, I stopped looking at the characters as "lesbians" and they became characters in a show that I liked. They were just regular people who go through the same crap everybody else does.
They became like any other cable TV drama. There were characters that I loved, like Dana (Erin Daniels), Kit (Pam Grier), Shane (Katherine Moenning) and Tasha (Rose Rollins). Then, there were characters I loved to hate, like Marina, Tonya, Jodi and in the last two seasons, Jenny.
As a side note, I have never in all my life of watching television hated a character more than I hated Jenny Schecter in the last two years. Kudos to Mia Kirshner for being a helluva an actress!
Anyway, my point is, this was an awesome show that I'm sad to see head off into the abyss of great shows that I wasn't ready to see go. Farewell to "The L Word." You'll be in great company with "The Cosby Show," "A Different World," "Ally McBeal," "Six Feet Under," "Queer As Folk," "Noah's Arc" and "Soul Food."