Friday, May 01, 2009

Is it real?!

Right now, I'm reading a book right now, called "Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties." As you can guess from that long a-- title, the book is all about the -ish you go through in your 20s and I want to hear from my older blog brothers and sisters if you think it's true. Shoo, I do. I'll tell you why.
I've got exactly 19 days before I hit 27. I'm looking forward to it actually. I'm hoping life gets better in my 30s. Don't get me wrong, I'm good right now, I really am, but it's been an uphill battle tryna get here. Dude, my 20s thus far have been the opposite of paradise, OK?
Check it, I graduated from college early right? So I jumped into the full-time working world, feet first at the tender age of 21. Secured an internship that turned into a job that was a 12-hour drive away from home and an 8-hour drive to my closest relative. I'm the baby of my immediate family with a lot of cousins my age.
The two years I lived there, I endured some of the craziest events I've ever seen in my young life. I was diagnosed with Panic Anxiety Disorder and took meds that had me thinking about some wild -ish! Like that wasn't bad enough, I spent six of those months drunk five out of seven days, withdrew from the world even more.
Lemme tell you, anti-anxiety meds and alcohol does not mix! That -ish had me contemplating ending it all. It really did. Thankfully, I decided against it because I thought that would be selfish to my family and besides, suicide would have taken away from my fabulousness and I can't have that! Needless to say, I took myself off the meds and I stopped drinking. That mess was scary!
OK, so, I had to quit that job because it almost drove me crazy and I couldn't take being that far away from my family all the time like that. I moved back home to my dad's house and took a job at a big box store that has a big red 'K' in the front. That started the craziest nine months of my life.
After Christmas, I left that store and went to work with kids and young adults with behavior and mental problems and selling furniture part time. Yes, Smarty worked with bad a-- kids and people who wanted to buy furniture.
I think I sold a set of mattresses and a bedroom suite while I worked at that furniture store. But while I was working with those kids, I took a couple of kicks to the shin, a couple of pushes and a few punches to the gut - while I had cramps! I almost caught a case for that one! After that, I came back to journalism. I had to. The idea of getting arrested, going to jail and having to be Big Bertha's wife just didn't appeal to me.
My entry back into journalism wasn't exactly grand. I took a job in one of the most unlikely places. I was only there for six weeks and that led to my job now. That's a lot of five years, huh? *LoL*
Even with all of this craziness, all of these changes I'm still grateful for it all. It's all played a part in who I've become. It's helped me, I think, to make better decisions about all the issues that arise being an upwardly mobile woman of the 21st Century. But please God, and ya'll too, tell me it gets better.
Tell me that trivial crap will stop mattering so much and I'll learn to take trials in stride as they come without completely spazing out! I swear, my 30s are a couple years off, but OMG, please, tell me I've got something better to look forward to. Tell the truth, hell, lie to me, just tell me it gets better.
The Quarterlife Crisis is really kicking my butt! I'm sick of it all ready. I'm tapping out! No mas! Twenties, you win!

6 comments:

12kyle said...

i've often said that you learn soooo much about people when you read what they write. especially posts like this.

it's interesting b/c if you had never told me this, i would have never known. in my eyes, smarty has come a lonnnnnng way in a short period of time. i'm very impressed.

to answer your question...yes it does get better. enjoy the ride, tho. when you roll into your 30s, the ride will be bumpy at times but you'll handle adversity even better than you have before simply b/c you've had practice.

once again...dope blog. even for an aggie (lmao)

Mo said...

Quarterlife crisis? Jee wiz, I just barely made it out of my school w/my sanity AND hair.

Smarty Jones said...

@Mo
The fun is just beginning! Welcome to adulthood. It's the worst, least fun amusement park you ever did see. :) Nah, I'm told it gets better. And I'm starting to see it.

@12kyle
Thanks for the advice "old" man. I'm hoping it gets better. Everyone I know in their 30s seem to be putting all their stuff together or at least they put up a good front. :)
And what's the remark about Aggies? Don't make me call out them Aggies!

ShellyShell said...

Hmm I with Kyle. I would have never guessed this about you. You've definitely come a long way!

My 20's were very fun. I graduated...on the 5 year and summer school plan! LOL! Had a bs job.Moved to Houston and hated it, moved back home and hated that even more! Got my ish together and moved to Richmond to go to Grad school...hated Richmond and packed my shyt and moved to DC. I had NO job had enough money for a deposit on my apt and enough rent for 3 mos.At this point I was 28. This was the time I learned how bad I wanted to be in DC. I got a job w/in 2 weeks of being there then got a second job and GRINDED! I knew one person when I moved there and was 6 hours from home. There were times when I STRUGGLED but I kept grindin. That struggle made me soo much stronger. I already knew I was strong but I knew then for real! That was the first time I lived on my own for real without my parents contributing to my rent(spoiled child) and it felt good to know I had my shyt together...finally! To this day some of my closest friends are in DC! But I moved to Houston for love(i'll blog about that sometime). When I left Houston I left with my car and all my shyt loaded up and drove to NY. I stayed with my homeboy and cousin but had NO job. I landed an apt 6 weeks after getting here and took a job as a consultant. I felt like I took a step back. I went from living in a 5br 3000sq.ft home to a small ass apt. But I knew in my heart that I was going to be ok. I told my parents before I moved home I would sleep in my car...extreme yes but that's how I roll! I've been in NYC for almost 4 years and I'm so proud of myself. All that being said...Your 20's are a time for you to find out who YOU are. I wouldn't change too much shyt. Good or bad it's made me who I am today! I'm sure in a couple of years you'll look back and say dayum all this I went thru and look at me now! It's definitely going to get better! Have faith!

Sorry for blogging in your comments!

The Jaded NYer said...

My 20's were spent being a wife and mommy, so I can't really speak on quarter life crisis... but I can tell you that I prefer my 30s, even if they have been tough and sort of feel like everyone else's 20s (since I was being sooo grown-up in my 20s).

Especially because I got the whole baby-having out of the way, my kids are big and I can now ease into the rest of my life.

You'll do fine!

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

The good news is that it definitely gets better...but it also brings new challenges that I won't scare you with...lol. All in all, I've really learned a great deal about myself since I hit 35 or so. I think each decade has a crisis mode built in to make us stronger and wiser :-).