Guess who's back!!!!

It's been a minute but don't think it is because I ran out of opinions.
First off, let’s go ahead and get the obvious stuff out of the way. For the lack of a better term, what the freak is up with T.O.? I mean really, the man has a $25 million contract and all of a sudden he wants to commit suicide, write children's books and drop everything he's thrown all in the same week? Come on man!
Now, I'm a T.O. fan, always have been, but dude, it's time for you to stop playing, get to the business of catching the football and get you some Jesus! But not in that order.
And while we're discussing this, why is he making $25 million to catch a freakin' football anyway? Can we please stop throwing money at these spoiled athletes and start throwing money at our teachers and military personnel!!! I mean really.
Secondly, what is going on in Washington? D.C., I mean. What is up with Freaky Foley? Are you trying to tell me that there were not enough gay guys in D.C. for him to get with that he had to start making passes at pages? I don't buy it.
The last time I checked, D.C. was one of the gayest cities in America and I'm sure it hasn't changed since the last Capital Pride in June. From what my sources (my gay friends) tell me, D.C. is still as gay as it ever was. So I am trying to find out why it is Foley had a hard time getting some.
Honestly, I think he is calling himself a gay drunk so that he doesn't have to face the fact that he is a drunken, disgusting pedophile. I know plenty of gay guys, and most of them drink, but that has never led a single one to the playground to pick up dates.
But I digress.
Anyway, I hope everyone realizes that this whole Foley thing is a WMD (weapon of mass distraction) from what is really going on in the Middle East. While we're over here talking about Freaky Foley, somebody's son or daughter is over there dying for nothing more than Bush's ego.
That is the main reason that the N. Korean president decided to launch these nuclear weapons underground. Mr. Kim has crossed the proverbial line in the sand and now it is up to Hang 'Em High Bush to push him back.
I tell you people, I am afraid. Not of the nuclear weapons, afraid of how far Bush is going to take this. I hope ya'll realize that he doesn't have to leave the White House just because his term is up in 2008. That jackass can declare war in any of the countries that hate us and be there forever.
Jesus keep me near the cross!