Everytime I watch the news ...

... my point is proven. There are a lot of dumb ass people walking this planet.
This morning while I was getting dressed, I turned to CNN's Headline News to see my girl Robin Meade because, well, I do every morning. She wakes me up without being too bubbly.
So, while I'm pulling my shirt over my head, I hear that Sharon Stone says that China has bad karma and that's why 68,000 people died in the May 12 earthquake.
"They're not being nice to the Dalai Lama, who is a friend of mine. And then all of this earthquake and all this happened and I thought, is that karma? When you're not nice, that bad things happen to you?" Stone said on camera at the Cannes Film Festival. Hmmmm, karma, what a concept.
Mirriam-Webster's dictionary defines karma as, "the force generated by a person's actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person's next existence." This is all a fancy way of saying, 'what goes around, comes around."
I'm a firm believer in that philosophy, but dang, 68,000 people dying in a natural disaster? That's not karma, pardon me, but that is God's will. To say that the earthquake is bad karma because of the way the Dali Lama has been treated would imply that the folks in middle America have screwed somebody over too because they are being slammed by tornadoes. It would also imply that the people on the Gulf Coast screwed somebody too because they're still picking up the pieces from Hurricanes Katrina and Rita.
She needs to watch herself when she says stuff like that because as Karamu from the Philadelphia season of "The Real World" pointed out, "Karma is a bitch," and I'm guessing she's about to get Karma's foot up her butt!
I know I'm a little late, but I don't think I've addressed "The Cannons." I put that in quotes because, well, who really believes that they're married for "love?" OK, maybe they do love each other, in a nice Christian way, but I don't think they've consumated their marriage. At least I hope they haven't. And, these crazy people are talking about reproducing - with each other.
***smh***
Umph, umph, umph!!! All I got to say is "God bless the child" that has two crazy people for parents. This whole situation is just waiting for a segment on Oprah and then Dr. Phil. You gotta do the "blissfully, geeky beginnings" and then the "horrible, bitter end."
Personally, I can't wait for Dr. Phil to scream "You guys are idiots" in that Texas Redneck drawl of his.

Winding it down ...

... well, tomorrow is officially my last day of vacation and I am saddened.
I've enjoyed my time off and it went far too quickly, but hey, Christmas is right around the corner, right?
Let's hope. Anyway, these last nine days have been filled with a lot of rest, family time and a lil' bit of fun too. I don't have many pictures of myself, but I can share with ya'll a few highlights.


First off, I officially kicked off my vacation by volunteering for the American Cancer Society for the Alamance County Relay for Life event in Burlington, N.C., where I live. If you all have not been involved with a Relay event, I encourage you to do so. This was my first year and I am officially hooked.
Secondly, I attended my cousin Lele's graduation from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. On May 17, she became the third college graduate on that side of my family. I was the first in 2003.


I'm sooooo proud of her, ya'll. She graduated with a degree in early childhood education and has a passion to teach kids in (Title I schools) low income neighborhoods and has several job offers lined up already. I was so proud.
The 17th was a busy day for me because I had to leave graduation and high-tail it to the hospital in my hometown where my lil' cousin had given birth to her daughter, Kianna Latreece early that morning.
Lil' Miss Thang was born at 2:05 a.m., weighing in at 6 lbs., 10 oz., and 20.5 in. long. She's so sweet and looks just like her mama. Now, I had to hurry up and get there because this little cousin of mine is my dawg. This is the little cousin that I have been taking up time with since she was a little thing and it also helped when she told me at 13 that she wanted to go to N.C. A&T just like me. ;-)


Well, she won't be going to A&T, at least not right now. She will graduate high school on June 13th and attend the University of North Carolina at Pembroke to stay close to home with the baby where she has more of a support system.
After that, I stayed home for a few days just to sort of relax and take it easy for a while. There is nothing like going to sleep in the bed you slept in before you got grown to make you feel like everythang's gonna be alright! I swear ya'll, I woke up one morning and tried to figure out why I ever left in the first place.
Then of course came my born-day on Tuesday. It wasn't a big "to-do" or anything. My family doesn't really make a big deal of birthdays. I actually spent the day with my cuzzo and her new baby.
The next day, I jumped on the highway and brought it on down to ATL, that's where I am now. Anyway, I got here just before rush hour and hung out with my brother for a couple of hours before we both crashed.
Thursday, I pretty much hung around his house watching movies all day and cursing him out for not leaving me a key to lock up so I could go into the city. Little did I know, he left it, I didn't find it until 20 minutes before he walked in the door and why leave the house at 4:30 in the afternoon?
Friday, we headed to Uptown Comedy Corner to see Wanda Smith, co-host of the Frank and Wanda Morning Show on the People's Station V-103, Double D and Tony Roberts. All three of these fools, and I do mean FOOLS, have been on Def Jam, Comic View and just about anything that showcases "urban" comics. I actually did that show against my will, but at the end of the day, I had fun.
Yesterday, I had a ball. My brother fried up some fish, yea I know it's country, and cooked up a few other things, a few folks came over and we made it a house party. We had a good ole' time!
Everybody who knows me, knows that I'm NOT a fan of the club scene and I could care less about going to a club. The atmosphere is just the opposite of laid back. The house party set up on the other hand is, to me, the epitome of laid back so I'm all for that.
Anyway, I was up until 4 this morning listening to alcohol and kush-induced logic. I laughed so hard that I woke up with a sore face and sore sides. It was H.I.larious!!!
And today, today was the finale! My brother, who spends more time on my nerves than off, got for me as my birthday gift, two tickets to the Atlanta Dream/Los Angeles Sparks game.
I'm sure some of you are probably asking "who the freak are the Dream and the Sparks?" Well, they are two teams in the WNBA that are probably going to be my favorite.


I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE sports. Football is my favorite, but I could never play because, well, I'm a girl. Basketball is a close second. I lettered in basketball in high school so it is of course near and dear to my heart.
Plus, I have been following the league since it started in 1997 and the Sparks have been MY team since then, well, them and the Charlotte Sting but they folded in 2006. So now I'm searching for a new "hometown" team and since ATL is the closest to the Tar Heel State, they're it.
Anyway, I had a great time and I will definitely be coming back to take in a couple of games. But all in all, I had a pretty decent vacation and I'm so NOT looking forward to going back to work.
Wish me luck, I'm pretty sure my e-mail and voice mail inboxes are overflowing. So don't be surprised if you don't hear from me for a couple of days. Going through 10 days worth of e-mails, voice mails and just randomness could take me a minute.

Looking at the calendar ...

... it's about that time.
May is by far the most fabulous month on the calendar and not because it's Spring. It just so happens to be the month that the world was blessed with my presence and I happen to think that every child born within this wonderful month is no doubt great!
With that said, Tuesday is the best day out of the month. In case you don't know, that's the 20th.
In fact, I'm feeling so good about my born day, that I had to go an pull this out:

And for the record, Taurus and Gemini are the sexiest zodiac signs.
Anyway, I'm headed to the "A" to celebrate. I shall look up Eb the Celeb while I'm down there and I'm sure there will be a pic or two by the end of the weekend.
Personally, I don't plan to do anything for the entire week and that is why you all are getting this post now because I'm celebratin'!
Ah, what the hell:

Catch ya'll after Memorial Day! Have fun, be careful and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

WTF is up in ATL?!

OK, there is waaaaayyyyyyyyyy too much going on in ATL these days.
I tell you, I can't get online or watch the news without seeing some random foolishness taking place in my favorite Southern city. Ya'll need to get right before my visit next week.
For those of you who don't watch CNN or frequent the Atlanta Journal Constitution's web site like I do, let me put you up on what's going down in ATL.
First off, a bar in Marietta, that's Metro Atlanta, owned by a white man is selling T-shirts that read "Obama in '08." That's not the problem. The problem is the T-shirts have a picture of Curious George on the front of them eating a banana.
To refresh your memory, Curious George is the cute little chimp from the children's books who was always getting into some trouble because he was so dang curious. The T-shirt depicts the likely Democratic nominee as a monkey. A monkey, people!
Have we not come far enough that we can stop belittling people of other races and likening people of color to animals and other degrading objects?
In his defense, the bar owner says he meant nothing racial about it and the people protesting his establishment just "needed something to be upset about."
Pardon my language, but he's full o' shit! You can't tell me that the bar owner is not familiar with the fact that African Americans, black folks, negroes have all been called monkeys, porch monkeys and apes as a derogatory term. Whether he meant it or not, that is what the T-shirts imply.
Good thing about that, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, the publisher or the Curious George series, is considering litigation for the infringement of their copyright. Good enough for him! See the Lord doesn't like ugly. He's not too fond of pretty either, but that's another story.
From the news report I saw on CNN, the bar owner has "conservative" views. That's fine, but do something in support of your candidate, not something in degradation of the other. Yet another way 'upstanding Americans' abuse their right of free speech.
And the thing that most takes the cake for me is this blatant disrespect for an elderly lady by a young girl on the MARTA train. MARTA is the public transportation system in Atlanta.
My brother e-mailed me the link earlier today and I was disgusted. I was disgusted at the girl's behavior and the amount of time this went on and how no one on that train came to this lady's aid.
The girl didn't physically attack this lady but I can see how she would have felt threatened and it looked and sounded like the girl was threatening her. Look for yourself.

What do you think?
Well, according to a story posted on the AJC's Web site, the woman is bi-polar and the video was one her manic episodes.
OK, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, but bi-polor disorder is a serious illness that can yield dangerous and in some cases deadly consequences. If she, at 25, is not responsible enough to take her meds, somebody needs to be responsible for her.
I know she's an adult, but she is still somebody's child. The AJC quoted her mama in the story talking about how sorry she was for the incident and that she's in jail. I want to know where the hell she was while her unmedicated, bi-polar child was riding up and down the damn MARTA rail.
If she can't do it, then she needs to have her institutionalized until she can help herself. After a while, it will be too late to get her help, she's going to end up killing somebody or somebody is going to kill her.

Finally!!!

R. Kelly is finally going to trial. It's about time, wouldn't you agree?
I mean, it's only been about 20 years since the videotape of him "allegedly" having sex with a minor surfaced.
OK, so it's only been about six years since his initial arrest. I'm not up on constitutional law, but I know six years exceeds the Bill of Rights' guarantee of a speedy trial. What's speedy about six years?
Anywell, jury selection began yesterday and the lawyers have already chosen three jurors; an executive, a telecommunications employee and a preacher's wife and I don't mean Whitney Houston.
According to a story on CNN's Web site, 15 people were questioned yesterday and 20 are scheduled to be questioned today. It is the goal to pick 16 jurors, 12 plus four alternates, out of a pool of 150.
I'll bet that's the only case in Chicago that jurors aren't making up excuses to get out of. Think about it, thousands of people get called in for jury duty everyday and it's usually some lame case where nobody knows the alleged criminal. But with this case, everybody knows R-rah and it seems like everyone knows about or has seen that tape.
Good luck finding a fair and impartial jury on that one. They'd be better off sending summonses to Quakers and Mormons without TVs. But then, it wouldn't be a jury of his peers. If they wait any longer, that girl he "allegedly" had sex with is going to be one of his peers.
This is simply tragic. I think they're going to put Kells under the jail for this one. It's time, don't you think. Celebrities have been getting away with too much and I think they're cracking down now. Look at what happened to Mike Vick. They sent that brotha to jail over some dogs. You think they're going to let R-ra walk after he's been taping himself with little girls - allegedly.
Think about it, O.J. got away the first time. Michael Jackson got away twice and Ray Lewis literally got away with murder. They're going to get Kells and I bet he wishes he would've trapped that camera and that tape in the closet.
If I think about it really hard, I can see a bright side to all of this. First off, unlike O.J., he can read. He will understand what's going on. Secondly, unlike Jacko, Kells does have decent suits he can wear to court. He won't show up to court, like Chris Rock said, "looking like Captain Crunch."
Honestly, I don't know if we're being so hard on him because of what he did or because he got caught. Back in the day, if they'd been this adamant about prosecuting guys who slept with young girls, Elvis Presley, Marvin Gaye and Jerry Lee Lewis married his 13-year-old first cousin. I'm not condoning any of it, I'm saying, get 'em all. Somebody else is out there sleeping with young girls too.
And, half the time, it ain't these dude's fault. I know that sounds a little crazy, but have you seen these little girls today? I swear, they look as old as I do and Lord knows they are developing much earlier than normal.
Don't believe me, take a trip to a middle, junior high and a high school and tell me those girls don't look 28. I know they do and they lie about their ages, just like we used to. The difference here is they can pull off 21, we couldn't. Hell, they can pull off 31.
Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't defend pedophiles and I'm not defending them now, I do however understand how they can be duped by these lil' hot tailed girls - especially when all the blood has rushed from the big head to the little one.
I blame the hormones in the food. For real, when's the last time you seen chicken pieces that big?

He said what to his mama?!

LeBron James is getting out of hand. So, I am not ashamed to say James is the guy I love to hate.
OK, let me explain. I don't literally hate the guy but I am a little bitter. At the age of 19, he was worth $90 million dollars and all he has ever done is play basketball. Basketball, people!
Anyway, we all know that James and the Cleveland Cavs are involved in a very heated series with the Boston Celtics. In last night's game, the ever so athletic Paul Pierce caught "King" James up in a foul in which his mother came to his aid.
Take a look:


I don't know if you can read his lips, but James told his mama, "sit yo' ass down!" And get this, last I heard, he still had his teeth. Now, I am in no way advocating violence, but I know what my mama would have done if one of us would have cursed at her.
It would have gone something like this. I would have said that to her, she would have grabbed me up by the jersey and proceeded to beat me down in the middle of Quicken Loans Arena. And the next thing I would have said to my mama, after I've healed from my jaw being wired shut, would be "I'm sorry, it'll never happen again."
I'm not sure of their relationship but if he talks to her like this all the time, they need an overhaul.
I know everybody wasn't raised in the Southern "don't curse to or in front of your mama," but everybody ought to respect their mamas, especially if she's worthy. I don't know, I'm just kind of shocked that he did that.
I'll tell you what, if she is anything like my mama, the next time we see "King" James, he'll have a fat lip.
By the way, the Cavs won 88-77.

The Intruders said it best ...

... when they said, "I'll Always Love My Mama." Boyz II Men said it again when they sang "Mama." I'm going to say it the best way I know how, my mama is why I am who I am and not just in the literal sense.
When I tell ya'll that if it hadn't been for my mama, I would have given up on a lot of stuff a long time ago, that's what I mean.
I won't lie, we have gone through it a couple of rough patches where I'm sure I got on her nerves, she's dang sure been on mine. But, regardless of all that, we are always able to maintain a decent relationship.
I know it sounds cliche, but my mom is my best friend. It hasn't always been this way though. When I was a sophomore in high school, we had some events that transpired that required us to be in the house, by ourselves, for a month straight. She'd had surgery and I almost crippled myself from sports injuries.
We'd always been cool, but having to be in the house together like that, we were forced to either get closer or start hating each other. We chose the first. I don't think I've played cards more before or since all that happened.
There's something about a card game between a mother and a kid, a lot of stuff can come out while you're just sitting there. I probably learned more about my mother in that month and a half than I had ever known in the 15 years before that.
I know it probably sounds strange, but I am thankful for those injuries because I could have gone through the rest of my life not knowing anything about my mom.
I could go on and on, but I won't. Instead, I'll just say Happy Mother's Day to her and to all the mothers in the blogosphere.

It appears I've been tagged ....

... again. OK, the first time, my girl Eb the Celeb tagged me and I didn't know how to follow up because I wasn't all that well-versed in this blogging thing. Now I've been tagged by one Mr. James Tubman.
I don't really know him, then again who do I know in this alternate universe except Eb. Anyway, we engaged in an exchange of ideas that resulted in neither of us backing down from what we both thought were very valid points.
At any rate, here are the rules:

1. Link the person who tagged you…

2. Mention the rules in your blog…

3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of you

4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them

5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

My Six Quirks


1. I love a good argument.
I'm not sure why, but since I was little there's something about the rush of being able to prove that I'm almost always right. What can I say? I mean, I'm not the most intelligent person in the world, but I'm kinda smart.


2. I am obsessed with Julius Peppers.
I have been eyeing that guy since he played football and basketball for Carolina. He looks like my first husband and I've never been married.
I don't know what it is, I think it is because he's got one of the nicest set of soup coolers I've seen on a dude in a long time. The only one in competition with him right now is Raheem DeVaughn.


3. I have sabotaged every single romantic relationship I've ever had.
This is sort of complicated but I'll try to explain. I don't trust men any further than I can throw them. Having brothers, a father who is single and a bunch of male friends, I have been privy to a lot of information that the average chick hasn't. When I start getting too close, I pull away or make him pull away because I don't want to lose myself and become one of those chicks who has to pick up the pieces when a relation-shit ends badly.


4. I can watch up to three TV shows at once and tell you what's happening in all of them.
I think this speaks volumes for my ability to multi-task. I am addicted to every installment of Law & Order and now that they are in syndication, I try to watch as many of them as possible. This sometimes interferes with me watching "The First 48" on A&E and the two interfere with my ability to stay abreast of shows like "Grey's Anatomy" and my guilty pleasures of "Miss Rap Supreme" and "The Salt N Pepa Show" when it's on. So instead of watching one, I flip between them during commercials.


5. I hate being the center of attention.
This is kind of uncharacteristic of the baby of the family, but I really don't need to be the center of attention. I am actually quite comfortable with being camouflage. I'm clumsy and with all eyes on me, it is inevitable that I will trip, fall or drop something.


6. I've had issues with stress and anxiety in the past.
Well, saying the past will depend on how you look at the situation. I think I'm handling it well. In 2005, I was put on medication for a series of panic attacks when I was living in Tennessee. That was a really rough time in my life. I nearly developed a drinking problem trying to deal with the stress. Thankfully I got some help and then they medicated me.
I'm cool now, I stopped drinking in March 2006 and actually took myself off the medication in September of 2006 and haven't needed it since. I will certainly not recommend that to anyone else because it is highly dangerous. One of the side effects for a sudden discontinuation of the medication is suicidal thoughts and attempts. I actually had those thoughts for a little while after I stopped the meds but thank God I never tried it.

Anyway, I'm going to tag Chicas in the City, Sheletha's Spot, 25, Single & Broke, Quarter-life Crisis, Sportz-n-Album Cutz and my damn self at Poli-ticked.

Holla at me!

It's my favorite night ...

... well not really, it is Monday, but it was the night for Miss Rap Supreme. So everybody knows now that's my guilty pleasure.
Now, I have been watching this show entirely too much, because I don't watch it only on Mondays, I watch at least two repeats during the week. With that being said, I have to get off my chest that Chiba is just too dang confident in herself.
Don't get me wrong, she can rap, but she's not as good as she thinks she is. Did I contradict myself? I don't think so. Let's revisit tonight's episode and the previous ones as well. First off, her flow is sick, but, and excuse my vernacular, she ain't saying nothing.
I think she thinks she's the best lyricist since Tupac. She's not. She makes everything more complicated than it has to be and that's jacked up for everybody else. The bad part is she thinks she's helping and she couldn't get herself together in the elimination portion. She got too caught up in her "feelings." How you gonna be a hard chick but you get emotional when it's time to perform?
She needs to stop being a punk and man up!
I was wrong last week, I thought Rece Steele was leaving but obviously I was wrong, she was the MVP for the show. In watching tonight's show, I thought Bree was leaving. Bree is alright but she's trying too hard right now. It'll come together for her, but I predict she's leaving next week. Of course, last week's prediction didn't come true so that doesn't really mean a hill of beans.
But like always, Byata, Nicky2States and Miss Cherry came to play the game and they did it right. From the looks of next week's show, it looks like Nicky, Byata and Rece will be teaming up again. That leaves Chiba, Bree and Miss Cherry to fight it out. Those three do not work well together and they will more than likely be on the bottom next week and it will be Chiba's fault.
I hated to see Lady Twist go but the bottom line is she didn't bring it as a leader. I don't know where in the freak they're coming up with these challenges but they knew dag on well my girl was at a disadvantage. In spite of what people tell you, all big people are not light on their feet like Heavy D and Missy Elliot. Shoot, my feet hurt right now!
I don't see why they had to dance anyway. MC Lyte ain't danced since the "When In Love" video. I've never seen Queen Latifah dance. The only single female rappers I've seen dance and stick around for a while is Missy Elliot and ... well, Missy Elliot.
Shoot, my girl Lil' Kim fell off and Salt N Pepa dance, well, because they were hot in a day before the hypeman and one needed something to do while the other rapped her verse.
At any rate, she said she's going back to get serious about school and start her journalism career. I hate to tell her she'd be better off in LaLaWood. Journalism ain't the place to be right now, especially when they're offering buyouts and laying folks off.
All in all, I think it's jacked up that she's not there anymore because there's probably only one true lyricist left in the house. I'm soooo not gonna say who I think it is. I gotta keep you coming back for more, right?
I must go now because I have to find my remote. I cannot watch these chicks fight over Flavor Flav. OK, I'm about to toss my cookies, one of those girls just kissed him. Ugh.
I'm sorry, that dude looks like he fell face first off the ugly tree and hit every branch and twig on the way down.

I've got it!

I figured out a way to become my own boss and make a butt-load of money doing it! I, Smarty Jones, am going to open up an alternative transportation store/rice field.
OK, so you may not know what I mean about alternative transportation. I mean any thing on two to four wheels that will get you from A to B without having to spend your life savings on a tank of gas.
Still in the dark? OK, unicycles, bicycles, tricycles, mopeds, skateboards, push scooters, wagons, wheel barrels, anything that can get you to where you need to go without offering up your first born for gas money. Before long, we'll all be singing the same theme song.

The price of gas is getting way out of hand. With my Toyota Echo, I know it's small, it takes me about $50 to fill up if I'm on 'E', thank God I haven't gotten down that far yet, but today is Monday and I do a lot of driving for my job. Let's hope I can cut down on how many "out-of-office" assignments I take this week.
It's getting so bad that I drove by my lil' "cheap" spot this morning and saw that regular unleaded petro is $3.50/gallon in Burlington. Now I know why the Loch Ness Monster on South Park kept asking Chef's parents for "Tree-fitty!" he wanted to buy a gallon of gas.



And rice, have you all seen that rice is going up? What next, Ramen Noodles. Man, it's getting expensive to eat cheap! It used to be that the cheapest thing you could buy to eat was rice, beans and Ramen Noodles.
And what about eating in the South? I'm pretty sure that the folks living in every state below the Mason Dixon line can single-handedly keep rice farmers in business forever.
If you are eating true Southern meals, it would be nothing for you to eat rice twice a day. I have seen times where we have eaten rice two times a day for at least five days of the week.
I know one thing, if rice gets to be too expensive, that's gonna be a big ol' void to fill on Sunday after church. Potatoes don't go with every meal. Rice does.