O. Jaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

*shaking my finger at him* You got some 'splaining to do!!!

What exactly is your major malfunction? Do you realize that you did the impossible for a black man? You already got away with murder, did you think that they were going to let you go for armed robbery too?

O.J., O.J., O.J.

All you had to do was lay low. You could have gotten a job flipping burgers at Mickey D's or traveling with the circus or with the CSI people telling how you "would have" killed some of the victims.

All you had to do was STAY out of trouble. That's it. It's not rocket science. It ain't even Algebra. Why don't you do like regular retired people and bug the hell out of your kids? Why not spend the day playing golf and fishing. Dude you live in Florida.

And why were in you Vegas? You ain't got no money! Now I've never been to Vegas but I do know that it costs money to get there and it is kind of expensive to stay in the hotels there and you had to play some slots.

I want to know how you can afford to fly from Florida to Las Vegas, stay in those hotels and play the nickel slots. Nickels you got, but where you get the dollars from playa? Don't you owe the Goldmans and Browns some money?

I get it, you probably think this is like any other bill that you don't pay. Well this is a court settlement man, this will not roll off your credit in seven years. Equifax doesn't have a record of this and it will not affect your FICO score. The difference in all that is, if you mess those up, it's on you, but if you mess up paying those people, it's on me - a tax payer.

If you don't pay those people you got to go to jail. But then again, you probably gonna have to go to jail behind this. Either way, I'm paying for you to eat - and I don't like it.

Why couldn't you just run out of there like Jim Brown was chasing you?

How come you couldn't imagine that hotel room was an airport and that was a Hertz commercial?

Gawd!!! You can't do nothing right!