Tuesday, October 21, 2008

(Sound) tracks of my tears ...

I'm going to do something I rarely do and that is put myself out here.
I had every intention of posting my Top 10 Celebrity CGI list but I had a minor set back over the weekend that has taken me back to some old school New Edition.
First off, I've pretty much been dealing with the same dude since the 10th grade. I know, that's a hot minute, right? Anyway, we dated in high school, it didn't work out but we remained great friends.
The problem is, we crossed a line a couple of years back and we can never go back. Since we crossed that line, I have been slippin' on my pimpin'. At no time have we ever discussed having a relationship. We simply had an understanding, "I ain't messin' with nobody else and you ain't either."
That has worked for the most part, but of course that pretty much leaves me stuck out in the abyss of free booty without a net. Because there is no relationship, of course dude didn't feel obligated to participate in outings and social functions.
Don't get me wrong, we went out from time to time, but it has always been a spur of the moment, any time something is planned, he doesn't show up and that's enough to piss you off.
Long story short, I pretty much promised myself that he had "one mo' time" and I was done. Well, he used up his "one mo'" on Saturday night. He's been on the way since about 9:30 p.m., Saturday. I still haven't heard from him. No phone call, text message, not even a damn e-card. But it's cool.
Honestly, I don't/didn't have any real feelings toward this current situation. I guess I kind of expected him not to show up. I just think it's kind of jacked up that he didn't call to tell me he wasn't coming.
Long story short, I played myself and I've learned my lesson.
Oh well, so ends another era of my young life. My friends would tell you that it's time. I'm not so sure. To be honest, it's love, it always has been and I guess that's what's made it hard to let go.
But now, I'm drained, I'm tired and to quote Mary J., "I've done enough cryin', cryin', cryin'. It's time to say bye, bye, bye, it's time I do something for me!"


Dee Dee said...

Well it's about time. I was tired of hearing about him. Time to move that roadblock in your life and move on to someone else.

Eb the Celeb said...

Dont you hate when you open yourself and they crush that ish... because you really aint stressing it but it just feels like they have the power cuz you let them in and they didn't bite... ugh... that is the worst!

TravelDiva said...

Aww--that sucks. But it's good you've come to that realization and you're ready to move on. Do you want me to nominate him for Joker of the Week?

Smarty Jones said...

Thanks for the vote of confidence Dee.
Eb, I do hate it and it sucks. But, I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Traveldiva, girl, thanks for the laugh, but naw, I guess he doesn't have to be Joker of the Week this time. If he keeps on, then I'll nominate him. ;-)

Demon Hunter said...

There are too many men in the world for that, girl. I'm moving to the upstate of S.C. when I get married.

I'll have to introduce you to some grown men who are looking for grown women like you. ;-)

TravelDiva said...


tiltedhalo said...

Been there, done that. You have to get tired of being sick and tired. It sounds like you're about there. I know it's hard, but you'll find someone worthy of you. When you finally let go it will be like a weight off your shoulders and a breath of fresh air.