Things that make me smile

Over the past two weeks, I have been on an emotional roller coaster. As some of you know, my dad just underwent pretty major surgery to straighten out his spine, realign some discs in his back that are now being held in place by rods and screws and to fix some spinal compression he had in his neck. It's going to be a long, painful road to recovery for all of us and I thank you guys for your prayers, positive thoughts and well wishes for my dad, my family and me.
My brother and I have been going at it since he got here, there have also been a few personal issues that I don't care to discuss anymore and add all that to the fact that this is PMS week. With all of that, I'm in need of a serious smile, aww Hell, I need laughter. And this got me to thinking, I should compile a list of the Top 10 things that make me smile and or laugh hysterically.
I'm gonna do this VH1 style and start from the bottom and go to the top. But I'm not gonna give 'em all to you in an hour or less, you gotta come back for the rest of them later.
So starting from No. 10, here we go:

10. Tyler Perry as Medea. Say what you will but this is funny to me! Everybody feels some kinda way about this dude and him dressing up in drag, but it's funny to me!
*Take that Rocky! :-P*

9. Reese Witherspoon in "Freeway." If you've never seen this movie, slap yourself and then go rent it! This movie came out when Witherspoon was unknown and my sister and I discovered it in the middle of the night while we were on summer vacation. It came on Cinemax so you know we had NO business watching it as 12 and 14-year-olds. Still, it's funny as crap!

8. The Cosby Show Reruns always make me smile if not fall out laughing. My favorite episode is when Cliff had a nightmare that all the men were pregnant. Another favorite is the Gordon Gartrelle episode and the ones where they performed for their grandparents. I could use one of those right now!


7. "Life" with Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence, Bernie Mac, Guy Torry, Anthony Anderson and er'ybody else! When I pop this DVD in I watch it like I've never seen it before. It's a combination of the funny ass lines and the way the actors portrayed the characters. Claude and Ray as old men still holds up and 10 years later, this movie is still hee-larious!

6. "Harlem Nights" with Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Redd Foxx, Della Reese and others. This is another DVD I can pop in and laugh all day long. If ever there were kings of comedy Pryor and Foxx are definitely among them. My favorite scenes in the movie include the exchanges between Redd Foxx and Della Reese because they sound like the old married couple who love to hate each other but would never get a divorce.

What in the Hollywood Hell?

*whistle blowing* FLAG ON THE PLAY!!! OFF SIDES!!! TECHNICAL FOUL!!! STOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!
Now that I have your attention, It has come to my attention in recent weeks that a lot of producers out in LaLaWood have decided that it is a good idea to remake several cult classics and I have taken offense to the foolishness.
You guys know I am an aspiring screen writer and you know I LOVE movies with every ounce of my being. What you may not know is I love them to the point that I apply quotes from movies to everyday life. Sometimes, my family and I 'speak movie' to each other. It's hilarious really. Usually, the point is to use a line that either most people don't remember or haven't heard.
The problem is most of the movies we like, that are off the beaten path, are about to be bastardized with remakes coming soon to theaters and I HATE it, you hear me? HATE IT!
Case in point, "Fame." OMG, I (heart) "Fame" so much it's not funny.
It's not just the story line, for some of the performers, the acting was horrible. It was Debbie Allen as Lydia who made the movie for me, though, when she said, "You've got big dreams, you want fame, well fame comes, right here is where you start paying for it - in sweat!"
Shoot, after that, I was ready to work! And if you think about it, that applies to everything in life. Now, sadly, they're re-making it and they've gotten Naturi Naughton to be CoCo. *smdh*
If defaming "Fame" were not enough, these crazy people are planning to re-make "The Last Dragon," and make Samuel L. Jackson, Shonuff. I guess we haven't seen Jackson holler enough, now we gotta watch him claim to be "The baddest Mofo Low Down around this town!" *smh* Where will it end?!
I tell you what, if they re-make "The Wiz" I'mma have to cut somebody! I will phone up The Jaded Nyer to borrow one of her limited edition machetes and cut somebody!
Since we know that screenwriters all over Hollywood have run out of creativity and we know they're going to re-do it anyway, one of my friends, K.Rhone and I have taken the liberty to suggest a few folks we think should play the parts now and some posthumously. Enjoy!
Muahahahahahahaha!

Dorothy was played by one Diana Ross. She did a good job and I'm not sure who could fill her blinged out slippers, but I'd give Jazmin Sullivan a crack at it based on her amazing vocals and her ability to bounce back after she busted her ass!
Posthumously, I would say that Aaliyah hands down! She was just awesome and I think her sweetness radiated in everything she did, even that horrible acting she did in "Romeo Must Die."
The Cowardly Lion was played by Ted Ross who was soooo hilarious as the lion. I think the only logical choice would be the Velvet Teddy Bear himself, Ruben Studdard. He's got the voice (and the girth) for it. I think he'd be awesome!
Posthumously, it could only be Gerald Levert. And he woulda played the hell outta that lion and brought some, dare I say, Big Boy Swag to it.
The rusting, big woman loving Tin Man was brilliantly executed by Nipsey Russell. We kicked around a few ideas of Jamie Foxx and Anthony Hamilton as the Tin Man, but I finally settled on Dule Hill from "The West Wing" and more recently "Psych." I settled on him because of course he's an excellent tap dancer and his singing voice doesn't suck. But, Russell couldn't sing that well either.
Posthumously, NOBODY could EH-vah out Nipsey Russell, Nipsey Russell. So I'd keep him as the only one who could ever play that part!
As for the Scarecrow, he was brilliantly played by a young, Negro Michael Jackson. I thought, and thought and thought about this and K.Rhone added her own thoughts to this as well. Her first nomination was one Usher Raymond IV. My choice was "Iron Fist" Chris Brown because he's a better dancer.
Given Brown's recent troubles and the fact that I want this movie to do well, I don't think it would be a good look to have one of the most hated men in America in a principle role in this movie. So, Ursher wins by default.
Posthumously, I'd say Michael Jackson. LoL. That Michael Jackson is dead now and no one could top him for that.
And Richard Pryor is the best Wiz there ever was. K.Rhone and I both agree that The Wiz should be a "mature comedian" and I have several ideas, but none of them stick out as "The One." I think George Wallace, J. Anthony Brown, Steve Harvey or Miss Laura (yes, a female Wiz) could pull it off.
Now for the supporting roles, I'm just gonna name 'em all off and I'll let your imaginations wonder why. Here we go:
Ms. One - The numbers witch who came out after Dorothy killed the first Wicked Witch should be played by Katt Williams or Sheryl Underwood. Y'know Williams would pimp it out at the male witch while Sheryl Underwood would be funny as all hell coming through there with her numbers!
Crows Wanda Sykes, Chris Rock, Mo'Nique and Rickey Smiley. Do you really need to wonder why they would make the funniest crows EVER?!
Glinda the Good - I'm thinking Patti LaBelle or CeCe Winans for no other reason than their vocals and the fact that I'm sick of the light-skinned long hair chick being the "good" one in everything! OK, that was some childhood stuff creeping up, but I really do LOVE Lena Horne.
My wild card pick for the good witch though would be Miss Bebe Zahara Benet, the winner from last season's "RuPaul's Drag Race."
Evilene just HAS to be Jilly from Philly and that is NONE other than Jill Scott!

Kanye "The Gay Fish" West needs to assume Quincy Jones' role and produce most of the music and appear as the conductor to the music during the ballet at the end.
OK, whaddaya think? Who did I miss? Who would be your picks or did I hit the nail on the head?
A girl can dream, can't she?!

Obama - The Movie

So, last night, a friend and I were talking about the fact that there has to be a movie about President-Elect Barack Obama's life coming out.

We're not sure when, we don't know who would do it, but I thought why shouldn't I cast the movie and post it here for you guys to weigh in?

I have chosen several people who I think would fit certain parts. I am going to show you a split screen photo of the actor along with the person I want them to play and I'll give my reasons. Keep in mind that this is simply my opinion of what I would like to see and who I would like to see. The comment section is for you all to weigh in or to give your suggestions of who would make the better actor for the role. A'ight?

OK. First of all, this movie has got to be a Spike Lee Joint. Nothing would do my heart better than to see opening credits that read, "40 Acres and a Mule Filmworks" and "OBAMA" in all caps.

Barack Obama


That handsome brother on the left is Roger Guenveur Smith. I know you've seen him in several Spike Lee Joints including "Do the Right Thing," "School Daze," "Malcolm X" and others. The thing I remember him for most though is his one-man show "A Huey P. Newton Story," in which he wrote and starred. That too was directed by Spike Lee.

The man to the right of that needs no introduction as every person in the free world who has eyes can identify him. That is none other than Will Smith. We all know his work "The Pursuit of Happyness," "Ali," "Independence Day" and of course the list goes on and on.

Either of them would work because they are both phenomenal actors. Obviously, Roger Smith fits the part because he looks the part with the light skin. Will Smith also fits the part because he has the ears for it.



I think that Evan Ross should be tapped to play a young Obama. He's becoming a good actor and I think he could probably fit the part, after he's had a tan. What do you think?

Michelle Obama


Ladies and gentlemen, Gabrielle Union. *applause* I like her, she's pretty, she's confident and I think she could pull this off. I think she can be aged to show Michelle getting older.

Malia and Sasha

OK, of course there aren't many children of color on television and in movies, but I picked these two because I think they can pull off the parts.

On the left is China Anne McClain, she starred in Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls and she is perhaps best known as Jazmin on Tyler Perry's House of Payne. She is feisty and sometimes too grown for her own good, but I think she'd make a perfect Sasha, that's the baby girl who loves the camera.

The little diva on the right is Willow Smith, Will and Jada's baby. She seems to have a lot of personality with her too, but I think that she's a little older than China and I think that they would be the perfect ones to play the small roles.

Barack's Parents
I think Jane Krakowski and Djimon Hounsou would be the best actors to play his parents. When I saw the picture of Obama as a child sitting on the fence with his mother supporting his back, I immediately thought of the "Ally McBeal" actress.

I think they look a lot alike and Krakowski has that wide-eyed innocence that his mother has in all the pictures I've seen of her. And Hounsou looks like he could be the stern man Obama wrote about in his book "Dreams From My Father."
Shoot, put some Malcolm X glasses on that brother and make him put on his serious face and I'll bet he'll look like Obama Sr.
To me, Hounsou and Obama Sr., share a lot of the same facial features and they both have smiles that look like they light up the room. Now I can't tell by the picture what Obama Sr., really looks like but I know Hounsou is a gorgeous man and if Obama Sr., made Obama II, he had to be a handsome feller in his own right.

Stanley and Madelyn Dunham (Obama's grandparents)

I happen to think that Robert Duval and Sharon Gless from TV's "Cagney and Lacey" would be great as his grandparents.

Not really hearing a lot about his grandparents in the media, I am going solely on looks and acting ability. In his book, I read that his grandparents were his rock and the people he looked up to for a lot of his wisdom and well, don't they look wise to you?

Maya Soetoro-Ng (his sister)

When I saw his sister, I thought that the only person who could possibly play her is Thandie Newton. These two look so much alike and Newton is a great actress. You guys probably remember her as Terrance Howard's wife on "Crash." She also has a major role in this year's movie "W" as Condoleeza Rice. I know, she looks nothing like her, but that is neither here nor there.

Joe Biden

I think Will Ferrell will make the best Joe Biden in Hollywood. First off, I know Ferrell is a comedic actor, but Biden is one funny dude. I had the opportunity to observe him at a rally earlier this year.
He says exactly what's on his mind and I think that Ferrell is probably like that at home. Plus, they both have that same crooked smile that looks like, "I just farted."
Everyone else, I just post their names and pictures and you can tell me what you thing, OK?



Brian Dennehy as John McCain


Tina Fey or Megan Mullally as Sarah Palin


Glenn Close as Hillary Clinton


Eric Dane as Bill Clinton


Paula Newsome as Oprah Winfrey


Jeffrey Wright as Jeremiah Wright




Who did I miss and what do you think of my picks for the characters?

And they're off ...

... gas prices have again made the trek upward again this weekend.
I gassed up my car on Thursday night for $3.59/gallon and packed my clothes in anticipation of driving down to the Queen City (Charlotte, NC) to see my best friend, my goddaughter and my brand new godson this weekend.
I got up Friday, finished up my stories for the week and jumped on the highway only to find that gas had gone up as much as a dollar in some places overnight. To add injury to insult, some gas stations were limiting drivers to only 10 gallons.
What does that have to do with me since my tank was already full, you may ask? Well, I could get down there, but getting back would be a different story. I could go, but I would run the risk of spending $50 to $60 to fill my tank when I got back and another $40 when I got home for the week. I don't know about ya'll but I don't have it like that.
Long story short, I opted not to head to the QC and went to the movies to see "Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys." And I must say to all of you I was presently surprised. Honestly, I don't know what I expected, but it was a good film. Trust me.

OK, first of all, I have to give Sanaa Lathan her props. Yea, yea, I know she's pretty and everything but up until now, she's always taken on the same type of role. The girl next door, love starved pretty girl who doesn't know how pretty she is type of role. But she really stretched herself for this one.
I must say, I had to sort of deprogram myself to realize that this was only a character that she was playing. With all due respect to Ms. Lathan, she plays a great bitch.
The film also stars two of my favorite actresses Kathy Bates and Alfre Woodard. For the first 15 minutes of the movie, I could not get "Misery" and "Crooklyn" out of my head. After that, it was a trip.
Tyler Perry pulled a Spike Lee and cast himself in the movie, but it worked. The only thing that didn't work was that god-awful wig he wore.
Don't get me wrong, there was the overly clueless character who everybody wanted to choke via Rockmond Dunbar. And my girl, Taraji P. Henson. She is so my favorite "new" actress. I say new because she hasn't been around that long, but I just like her. She's picked a lot of different type of characters and she's convinced me as all of them.
I am not going to spoil it for you but I will tell you that it is certainly an entertaining movie and I am proud of Perry. He did his thing on this one. Long story short, go see it. For real, don't bootleg it either, go to the movies, buy some popcorn and mix in some peanut M&Ms and drink a Sprite.
Go on, you owe it to yourself.

Why Do I Keep Reading Movie Reviews?

It's only going to piss me off. So, for whatever reason today, I opted to find a few "mainstream" reviews of Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married?" And of course, it pissed me completely off.
First and foremost, let me clear up the comment made yesterday that this wouldn't be an Academy Award contender. I said that because this movie was written, produced and directed by black folks and did not have any of our brothers and sisters degrading themselves or portraying a criminal lifestyle.

It seems that the only time our folks get recognized for cinematic achievements is when they play ex-slaves, bums, rogue cops, maids and a step down from crack whores.

Granted Jaime Foxx and Jennifer Hudson won, but he won for his outstanding portrayal in a biopic and she won playing a character, Effie, who was the classic stereotypical Sapphire personality.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Sapphire, according to the Arte Sana Web site, Sapphire is described as an African American woman portrayed as evil, bitchy, stubborn and hateful. In other words, what we call ghetto or 'hood, that is Sapphire. Think those chicken headed girls on VH1's "The Flavor of Love" and you'll have the perfect example.

Now, because the characters in Perry's film were educated and had very high skilled and high paying professions, he won't be receiving many accolades outside of the African American community.

I read on my classmate Eb the Celeb's Renaissance Black Woman blog, http://renaissanceblackwoman.blogspot.com/2007/09/blog-post.html, that VH1 was considering a reality TV show about interracial couples but they were looking for a black woman with, for the lack of a better term, some sense and they couldn't get the show green lighted.

With that said, she posed the question of whether or not America was ready for an educated black woman. I think the downplaying and the outright disrespect for Perry's film goes above and beyond to prove that America is not ready because it doesn't want to be ready.

America has grown comfortable with seeing minorities as one-dimensional. How often do you see black folks in movies where their characters remain true to themselves and life in the suburbs at the same time? How ofter do you see movies with Hispanics where their characters don't have on tropical print shirts wearing their hair slicked down or wearing long sleeve flannel shirts with one button done and tattoos? How often do you see Arabs or Asians in movies where they don't own the convenience stores?

Having a hard time aren't you? You know why? The people green lighting these films have absolutely NO idea of what goes on in the world outside of their own. Their only contact with minorities is through the eyes of the screenwriters who have been known to change their stories so that producers will make the movies.

I'm not saying they are wrong for making some money, I am saying that the gatekeepers are wrong for putting only one dimensional characters out there. Can the Hollywood Higher Ups get a clue?!

In the past 10 years, we have seen feature films like, "Love Jones," "Two Can Play That Game," "Hav Plenty," "The Wood," "The Best Man," "Love & Basketball" and "Brown Sugar." All decent films in their own right, but I guarantee you I can link them all with no more than two degrees of separation. If you think about it for a minute, you can too. I won't waste your time doing it, but if you care to challenge me, I'd be more than happy to oblige you in the comment section.

What I'm trying to say is Hollywood sees our movies and characters so one-dimensionally (is that a word) that they can't even give us more actors and actresses to play the parts. One of the main reasons Perry's films take beatings is because he goes against a lot of the cliches of "urban" films and uses a plethora of talented actors. He brings out a story the entire family can enjoy and he touches on subjects that need to have families and friends talking.

So bottom line, leave the man alone. He's anointed and he's been appointed. You can't mess with God's children and get away with it.

Besides, the only time we're going to get the recognition we deserve is if we come up with some sort of Academy of our own that recognizes achievement in minority cinema anyway. Don't believe me, look at the folks who make up the academy and then look at the folks to get nominated and then tell me that it's all equal.

Humph ...