The Book, Part 2

So, yesterday, I gave you guys a couple of reasons why I decided to read "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." I told you that most of what is in the book is information that deep down in our heart of hearts, women already knew.
I can't speak for all women, but I can speak for me and some of this, I knew. There's something funny though, even when you know stuff, there's something about seeing it in print that makes it true.
To start, I'll give you a brief synopsis of my background. I am the baby of my family. I have two older brothers, an older sister, two step-brothers and a step-sister. My parents split when I was four, I'm not sure why, but I have my suspicions.
In high school, I played sports and participated in my school's JROTC program. This gave me an opportunity to hang out with a lot of guys. In hanging out with these guys, and having a father and a brother who have been known to date more than one woman at a time, you pick up on stuff - a lot of stuff!

WHAT DRIVES MEN
In the book, Steve Harvey says that there are three things that drive a man: who he is, what he does and how much money he makes. According to Harvey, a man is not ready to settle down and take on the responsibilities of a wife and family until he is confident in all three areas.
I knew that, for the most part. Like most women, I applied the book to my current and past dealings with men (and boys) to get a better understanding. When I read this, I started to understand why I have been disregarded and written off at certain times in my young life.
For example, I am currently in love (yea I said it) with a dude that I been on a merry-go-round with since the 10th grade! In our adult lives, we have each other's everything, best friend, pal, confidant - you know, all the stuff in The Golden Girls theme song and R. Kelly's joint "Homie Lover Friend."
We've never had the "adult relationship" that I want. Without going into the details and pissing myself off, I will say that Harvey made a lot of sense with this statement. This dude knows who he is, he knows what he wants to do and he's taking the steps to get there because he knows how much he is going to make.
He's about to graduate in May with a master's in public administration and take the certified public accountant exam in December. (Yes, he is a nerd, just like me!)
Because he's been on his grind, working full-time and going to school full-time, he barely has enough time to sleep, let alone give me all of what I need to feel secure and loved. So, I understand.

HOW THEY LOVE
As I read further, Harvey says that a man shows his love differently than a woman. Where we, ladies, like to coddle and spoil our men they show their love by doing three things: professing, protecting and providing.
Basically, if a man loves you, he wants everyone within ear shot to know that you belong to him. It sounds cave man-like, but whatever. Anyway, Harvey says that if a man loves the woman he's with and has plans for her, he will introduce her as his lady, his girlfriend, his fiance, his future wife or whatever his intentions are for you.
With that said, if he introduces you as a friend or simply by your name, hang it up, he has no intentions for you beyond friendship. He will sleep with you, but he won't wife you up! I won't lie, when I read this, it pissed me off. I put the book down for about a week. I was mad. I've only ever been introduced by this particular dude as a friend.
Anyway, after a week of brooding and being depressed, I picked the book up again and the depression subsided because he then moved on to the protecting portion.
Said dude has always been the type to walk between me and cars, putting himself between me and strange people (particularly dudes), he was ready to jump on the highway and drive 12 hours to promptly whoop some ass after a man had offended me back in the day at my first job. This dude even offered to buy me a gun when I lived in my first apartment all alone because I needed "protection."
It made me smile.
When I got to the part about providing, my smile grew to an all out grin because according to this book, a man will move heaven and earth to provide for the woman he loves. Providing means paying the bills and buying the food and providing all those things that people need, the food, shelter and clothing.
Of the 11 years we've been going back and forth, I don't recall paying for a single thing. A stick of gum, a soda, nothing - haven't paid for it. I've tried, he won't let me always saying, "let me be a man!" LoL. So, I let him. I don't even offer anymore. I'm letting him be the man. Whatever that means.

More to come tomorrow. Stay tuned.

The Book, Part 1

Lately, Steve Harvey's book, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," has been getting a lot of press. Some bad, but for it most part, it's all been really good.
First off, this dude, a comedian, has soared to the No. 1 spot on the New York Times Bestseller list. That is the most coveted position of all writers. And, he did it selling a book that is categorized as "relationship/self-help."
*applause*
Harvey, 53, is a Cleveland native (who I thought was from Chicago) is the host of a syndicated morning radio show, one of the Original Kings of Comedy, an actor and now an author. He's a Renaissance man of sorts.
Usually, I don't buy into the hype of whatever the latest new trend is but when a pair of my favorite RBWs, Oprah and Eb the Celeb, and gave it the thumbs up, I had to see what all the hype was about.
I not one of those people who does everything that Oprah says, but I do listen to what she has to say. It's the same with Eb. I don't always agree with her, for example, I love Jennifer Hudson's album and she doesn't. But I do trust her opinion.
So, I read the book. It took me the month of March, but I finished it. And I have to say, I'm mildly impressed with it. He made some very valid points that, if we're honest with ourselves ladies, we already knew were true.
Since he's been doing press with the likes of Oprah, Giant magazine, the Philly Inquirer and others, he has given a pretty good idea of what the book is all about. Another blogger, The Savvy Sister, broke the news of Harvey's book having at least the same title of a book written by one Sharon P. Carson. In his show today, I'm told, Harvey had his publisher on to talk about how they came up with the title.
Originally, the title was "Act Like a Girl, Think Like a Man," and Harvey did not want to offend anyone so they changed it. I'm not sure if I buy it. You'll find out why in a later post as to why the whole "Act Like a Lady ..." thing offends me.
Until then, prepare yourselves, for the next few days, I'll be delving into the book and giving you my "interpretation of the sitchy-ation!"

Sometimes I Wonder ...

* What ever happened to background dancers for rappers?

While we're talking about music, I wonder:
* How come rappers don't dance anymore?
* Why do they feel a need to have 175 other people on stage with a microphone?
* How long do we have to wait until real hip hop comes back?
* Why is it that the best singers and performers become victims of drugs and alcohol abuse?
* How come we don't have anymore super labels where every artist is a hitmaker like classic Motown, Uptown/MCA, Jive and Laface?
* Am I the only one who can't listen to this new music?
* Why do I have to resort to my mp3 player with the FM converter in the car?
* How come nobody ever has sightings of dead black singers like white folks do Elvis?

In sports, I wonder:
* Am I the only person who could care less about the NBA?
* Is it just me or have the players gotten boring and ugly?
* Why did it just register that Oklahoma has a team now?
* How in hell did the owners come up with a nickname like "Thunder?"
* Shouldn't they have been the Tornadoes?

In general, I wonder:
* Is ugly the new cute now?
* Why one of my little nieces think's Weezy is cute.
* If I should have laughed when I told her parents to have her eyes checked.
* Are talent scouts on the look out for ugly talented people?
* Should I still say ugly or have we gone PC with that too?
* What would be PC for ugly anyway, attractiveness deficiency?

Another one bites the dust

Well, another one is over. Another fabulously wonderful television show has ended and again, I am verklempt.
In case you have been living under a rock or your cable company is homophobic, like mine, and doesn't offer the Logo channel, the show I am referring to is "RuPaul's Drag Race."
First of all, this show has two of my most favorite things in the world, gay guys and reality show competition. I think the general idea was to make this "America's Next Top Model" meets "The Crying Game." Regardless, I effin' loved it!
RuPaul has always been FIERCE. In the show, we got a chance to see him in and out of drag. Personally, I like to see him in drag. Call me crazy but I somehow feel good about knowing that he has to put all that work into something I was born with! *sticks tongue out* Take that, Loca!
Like all reality TV shows, there are the stereotypes, all of them are gay so that one doesn't apply. What I liked about this one is that there were two people in that b$%tch role who played it very well. Then of course there's the minority, here though, there were a few and I liked that. The one you really rooted for but could never get it right. The weird one, the whiner who got on my good nerve and the one who smoothed things over.
I'm telling ya'll, this show was awesome!!!
For so long, all I ever knew about drag queens came from RuPaul, who we really didn't know, and the movie "Wigstock." Both were pioneering for drag performers, but I think this was a step in the right direction to have drag performers be humanized.
So much of what they do is illusion and make-up and wigs and a lot of people tend to see them as fake people who feel like they are stuck in the wrong body. This show challenged that and became, dare I say, pioneering?
While there was a whole lot of Tom Foolery going on, there were a lot of issues brought up like HIV/AIDS, poverty and homophobia. All of these things need to be discussed on a huge stage and I commend RuPaul and the show's other producers for giving us this awesomely entertaining show.
To all the performers - Victoria , Tammie, Akasha, Jade, Ongina, Shanelle, Rebecca, Nina and especially the winner Bebe Zahara Benet, you all made my Monday nights. And best of all, you didn't eff it up!

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