I have a confession.

This is so hard for me to do. My name is Smarty Jones and I'm addicted to Ego Trip's Miss Rap Supreme on VH1.
Seriously. Ordinarily I wouldn't get involved with the nonsense that is CelebReality on VH1, but for some reason, this one has caught and kept my attention. I think it is that the female emcee, or femcees as I've heard them called, amaze me. Not that women shouldn't be able to do it like the men, or better, I'm just amazed.
In the first episode, they narrowed the field from 50 contestants to 10. The 10 left are (1)Byata from Brooklyn, she's my favorite, she's unlike anyone I've heard. She could almost be a female member of the Wu Tang Clan if such a member existed.
(2)Chiba from Neptune, NJ. she's good too. She and Byata are so much alike they can't stand each other. But both of them are off the hook. For whatever reason her pic didn't save when I created that homemade graphic.
Next is (3)Miss Cherry from the 'A,' I like her too, she reminds me of Luda a little bit. That chick has punchlines for days. Then (4)Nicky2States reppin' Huntsville, Ala., she's like a cross between Trina, Lil' Kim and the original Foxy Brown from her "Ill Na Na" days.
(5)Lady Twist is from Dolton, Ill., and that could explain why she reminds me of Twista. Her ability to tell a story reminds me of Biggie though.
(6)Bree is from L.A., though I would have thought Ohio because she could have been a member of Bone Thugs N Harmony. And (7)Rece Steele, I'm not sure about her. I think she's leaving next. She doesn't leave a lasting impression at all.
The others who rounded out the top 10 include one-hit wonder (10)Khia, D.A.B., and this Russian chick Lionezz.
Apparently the fame from "My Neck, My Back" dried up and Khia either needed some money or some exposure. She succeeded in making an ass of herself and getting disqualified for plagarizing herself and she didn't even spell respect right. Now I am all for the beat and making the lyrics fit but there is NO excuse for ignorance.
(9)D.A.B. was alright. She was a wreck though. She is a recovering addict with a helluva story to tell and she told it, over and over and over again but not in her rhymes. She was too needy and needed to be accepted. That doesn't translate well in hip hop.
And (8)Lionezz is a special case. This is the only person to have been eliminated twice. She was the first one voted off, but was brought back after Khia played herself. Her accent killed her. She is from Russia so she's behind the curve on trying to learn how to deliver rap in English. But her lyrics are sick!
They tapped M.C. Search and YoYo to host the show. I haven't heard anything from Search since Third Base came out with "Gas Face," and YoYo did a little bit of acting but has remained under the radar for a while.
Either way, it's my guilty pleasure. Hey, I'm entitled to one right? I didn't watch Flavor of Love or I Love New York and until they do another session of Charm School, I'm fresh out of foolishness.
Seriously, if you love hip hop or rap, take a look. If nothing else, it's good for a laugh.

Where to begin?

This has been an eventful week and it's only Wednesday!
First off, I would like to congratulate VH1 on the Hip Hop Honors show last night. Now, to all the people I may have offended with my BET post, watch the VH1 replay and you will see what I'm talking about when I say real hip hop. That show was good from start to fin.
Even the Beastie Boys, who I really wasn't into, were pretty good - it brought back a few memories from when my brothers kept shoving the music in my sister's and my faces. Thanks fellas!
Secondly, what is up with Mike Tyson? The man told the press that he was "very serious" about stepping into the ring with a female boxer.
(I have my head turned, looking out of the corner of my eye with my lips turned.) That's ludicrous
I think the original question was whether or not he would fight a woman. The first thing that came to my mind is, "hasn't he done that already?" Isn't fighting women one of the main reasons his first wife left him? (That's what she said.)
I am a fan of boxing and I love to see a good fight, but I just don't hardly think you can get a good male/female fight unless they are in a relationship and somebody has spent the light bill money.
But, if Ann Wolfe, or any other woman is crazy enough to get in the ring with Mikey, at least now we know she'll fight back.
Oh yea, and good news for about 10,000 central African refugees. It seems that America has decided to take them in after some of them have been in Tanzanian camps since 1972.
I'm sure that those refugees are all sitting around saying, "whoooo hooooooo!!! A full 34 years after I need you, you just drop in and help. Well thank you America."
The new "visitors," because I'm sure they plan to kick them out after a few years, are natives of Burundi. Just a little bit of background, the country is in Central Africa and has been going through civil war since getting independence from Belgium.
Now, I say that to say, I wonder what the ulterior motive is for bringing in "new" black people to America. America barely cares about the black folks we have now and they went to get new ones? Who knows, this could be some sort of trade. Basketball season is near. I think we should be on the look out for Manute Bol-like ball players.
Lookout, I think somebody's up to something.

I must be getting old!

I have to be getting old or mature or something. Yesterday, the nominees for the first BET Hip Hop Awards were announced in Atlanta and I am/was so not excited.
Am I the only person who sees a problem here?
Why is it necessary for BET to create another awards show? Are the BET Awards and that God-awful comedy awards show not enough? I thought Reginald Hudlin and Stephen Hill were supposed to be making improvements.
I wonder what that pitch meeting was like. "I think we should create an awards show just for hip hop. I know we already have the Source Awards and the Vibe Awards, but we should do something because we're BET!"
To have been a fly on the wall. I would pay them $1 million in $25 installments just to have said, "WRONG ANSWER!!!"
I can't even imagine Debra Lee sitting through two hours of iced out grillz and rented platinum and enjoying it.
But we all know she will be sitting there in her Versace gown with that pasted smile on her face and trying to use slang when she addresses the audience.
And what will be the categories? Worst acting by a rapper? Cutest video ho? How about best grill?
Spare me, please.
I wish somebody would have the courage and the gall to snatch up Bob Johnson and take him to a TV and turn on BET. Not only make him watch it, but smash his face in it (think the old school way of house breaking a dog), and say, look what you did!!! Bad Bob, Bad Bob!!!
The real problem I have with it is that they are billing it the "Hip Hop Awards." Ask yourself, does hip hop exist anymore? I personally think that there are very few artist who can still consider themselves hip hop artists.
Think about it.
When hip hop was originated, it had a message, it was the voice of suffering people in the inner cities. Think Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five here. Then it evolved into being fun. It was about having a good time. This is where you insert Doug E. Fresh and Slick Rick.
Now, critics and consumers alike are using the term loosely and interchangeably with manufactured rap artists. Think that G-Unit and all those 'Young' people, Joc and Dro and all of 'em.
This stuff ain't fun and it ain't got a message. What it is, is manufactured, dry shells of what used to be good music. When I hear hip hop being used to describe today's music, I get so irritated because this mess these kids are listening to today is not hip hop.
I haven't named it yet, but I will. You know I will.