I've tried for as long as I could ...

...but I have to speak my piece.
Consider this a warning - the following is a hodge-podge of issues that have been irking my nerve all week long!
First, American Idol is working my last nerve. OK, I know that as America, we have to vote for who we want to stick around, but what about those folks who need to leave? How do we stop America for voting for the talentless, monotone singers?
I am willing to pay Ryan Seacrest to go to the call center to take the phone line that answers for that Sanjaya Malakar kid out of the wall. Don't get me wrong, he's very pretty, but that poor child can't sing. And if you watch the show as avidly as I, he's been expecting to leave for weeks. Every time they get ready to say who's leaving, he always gets this pout like he's about to start crying. That boy knows he's out of his league.
So please, America, put this kid out of his misery!
Second, how come nobody has called into question Rudy Guiliani's political background? His only experience is being the mayor of New York during the 9/11 attacks. That is certainly no small feat, but it does not qualify him to run the country. This man has no congressional experience nor has he held a state office. NYC is big, but it is a far cry from the entire U.S. Folks are getting on my nerves talking about how many times he's been married and all this crap that doesn't matter. They should talk about the experience that he has in the political arena.
Next, Anna Nicole is dead, you hear me? She's dead! Let the woman rest in piece. For God's sake, somebody order DNA from all the men she had sex with in a three month period and call it a day. And let me just say that we can rule out OJ. That baby is as white as butter and there ain't a strand of extra tight curly hair on her head.
And speaking of hair, somebody please tell Al Sharpton to get somewhere and sit his overly processed hair-having behind down somewhere! It's no secret that you're not jealous of Barack Obama, so you say, but we are tired of hearing it.
I swear man, just because he's got some white folk along for the ride right now doesn't mean they won't turn on him like week-old greens. This is still the preliminary phase of the presidential election season and Obama, Edwards and Clinton still have a very long road ahead of them.
Sharpton is all in the media talking about black folks don't trust him because white people do. That is so stoopid! And I mean just like I spelled it. Edwards, I hate to say, is running on this whole "poor people's campaign" and exploiting Hurricane Katrina victims because it will get him the black vote. Nevermind that he was nowhere near helping poor people his last time around or that he didn't go to N'awlins until it was time to announce his run.
Granted, none of the other candidates have been seen down there either, but they didn't run so they could get some votes. I'm just saying, be true to yourself first. You can lie to me, just don't lie to yourself.
And where does Sharpton get off telling Obama that he shouldn't take the "Black vote" for granted? What political candidate hasn't taken the black vote for granted? Not since the late 1960s have we given them a reason not to.
We're so proud that we get so many people of color to register to vote, but that is nothing to be proud of. Let's try to get these folks to go to the polls and exercise their right, then we'll have something to be proud of. Until then, shut up complaining!
That's it! I give up! I'm moving to Canada - if they'll have me.

It is Oh-Fish-AL!!!

The American justice system has gone to hell in a hand basket.
In case you haven't been keeping up with this, and Lord knows I tried not to, the Florida judge ruled to give custody of the body of Anna Nicole Smith to her infant daughter. Well, the baby's lawyer and then said that he feels she should be buried next to her son in the Bahamas.
Here's a novel idea, why not just rule in favor of Howard K. Stern? That was what he was trying to do in the first place. Now I don't know this man, but it seemed to me that he was the one who was there for her at the end of her life, whether he was an "enabler" or not.
This case is getting more and more bizarre by the minute.
Britney Spears is back in rehab ... again!!! This is the third time in a week. Let's hope that the third time is a charm.
In keeping with entertainment news today, I am a little reluctant to inform you guys about Paul McCartney's ex-wife to dance with the stars this season. Hee, hee, hee.
As if we needed more evidence that I am going to Hell, I wonder - are they going to put wheels on the foot of her artificial leg? Won't that allow for better movement?
OK, that was wrong and uncalled for. But you gotta admit, it was hella funny. :-D
FYI: I haven't said anything yet about "Norbit" or "Daddy's Little Girls" because I haven't seen them yet. But in true "Tiffany" fashion, I will likely do a movie marathon this weekend. I want to see "23" too. I heard Jim Carrey is awesome in that movie. So you guys will get updates sometime next week.

I'm waiting ...

for Bernie Mac to stumble out of wherever he's been hiding to say, "I'm da pappy!"
How many men slept with Anna Nicole Smith - around that time? This is ree-diculous.
I really feel sorry for the child in this whole ordeal. That child will always be somebody's target because of all the money that she is bound to inherit. I sincerely hope that there is at least one person who is genuinely concerned about that little girl's welfare because I bet you someone is looking to off her too.
And I know I haven't said anything about the Grammy's but I have been a little busy. But I do want to say that I wish people would leave Mary J. Blige alone about her long acceptance speech. I feel like she deserved to have all that time and more. I mean it only took them 15 years to recognize this woman for outstanding work.
There is not a woman between the ages of 8 and 80 who have not been affected by at least one Mary J. Blige song. Show me a woman who has not listened to "Not Gon' Cry" or "7 Days" or "No Happy Holidays" and have it be right on time. Her ability to vocalize every woman's roller coaster of emotions in her songs transcends some of the world's best poetry and anything else that is an out pour of emotion.
So you dang skippy she deserved that time.
Also, I want to say that I am officially scared of these bad A-- kids in America. Some kid out in Utah shot up the mall while a small clique of girls jumped on a woman in Target for bumping into one of them and not apologizing. I tell you folks, this week's headlines are the best birth control anyone could ever ask for.
Just in case you haven't heard, an 18-year-old kid went to the mall and opened fire. He killed five people and intended to kill a lot more. One 10-year-old girl in Boston was arrested in connection with the Target beat down.
What is the world coming to when people can't even go to the store anymore? For those of you reading this who have children and refuse to beat them - this is what sparring the rod can do for you!!!

OK, it's official ...

I think I'm going to Hell - on a scholarship.
Today when I found out that Anna Nicole Smith had passed on, the first thing I thought was, "Maybe it was all that Trim Spa." I know, it's not right, but lie to me and say you weren't thinking the same thing.
I don't know what to say to that. That is a lil' suspect. She dies just months after her son in what seems to be a death that is equally suspicious? Somebody needs to look at the folks around them. Somebody offed her.
Speaking of somebody who's off, two sets of parents up in Massachusetts are trying to sue the school system where they children attend school because their teacher read them the children's book, "King and King."
Unless you're completely naive, the book is about two gay princes who fall in love. The parents are upset because they feel like their parental rights were violated because they weren't notified that their children would be learning about homosexuality. CNN.com quoted their lawyer saying that they didn't want their children to be "brainwashed." And it goes against their "religious beliefs" to teach their children about homosexuality.
WARNING - I AM ABOUT TO GET ON MY SOAPBOX!!!
Where do people get off being intolerant of other people and they life that they choose to live and saying that it is in the name of Jesus, God, Allah, Yahweh or whomever?
The foundation of most, if not all, religions is faith and love. Being anything less than tolerant and attempting to belittle or degrade people is not faithful or loving.
What folks fail to realize is we as people do not have a Heaven or a Hell to put anybody in so we are in no position to judge. Every single person alive has sinned, is sinning and will continue to send until your spirit leaves your body. Simply put, those folks who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
I applaud that teacher who decided to read that story, it shows that she is dedicated to turning her students in tolerant, understanding, productive members of society.
And besides, nobody came to my rescue when my teachers tried to teach me Algebra and Advanced Math, so they gotta sit through that too.