I am amazed ...

... at how well the Republican presidential hopefuls skirt questions.

Against my better judgement, I watched CNN's YouTube Debate last night to see what was up because I didn't have a candidate yet. Let's just say that I still don't have one.

Because of the nature of my profession, I refuse to publicly identify myself as Republican or Democrat. But like other red-blooded and connected Americans, I have certain issues that I would like the government to address.

Sadly, last night, none of them were addressed. There was no talk of health care - universal or otherwise - and no one discussed education. I know the candidates could only answer the questions that were asked so that's why I fault CNN.

I hardly believe that with more than 5,000 questions posted that no one asked about health care or education. It seems to me that the biggest issue on the Republican agenda is cutting taxes, abolishing abortion, sending all the brown immigrants back to their countries and continuing the "war on terror."

What's even more disturbing is the answers to the question asked by an African American father and his son about what the candidates planned to do to stop black on black crime. Mitt Romney gets the award for the Vaguest Answer of the Night because that dude started talking about how fortunate the boy was because his father was there and how "Bill Cosby got it right."

Romney brought up a statistic that stated 69 percent of all African American children are born out of wedlock and we need to start getting back to family values.

***This is the part where I cock my head to the left and turn up my lips***

So you mean to tell me that if my parents would have been married when I was born, that would stop some random black boy from killing another? You'll have to excuse me if I am a little skeptical.

The reality of it is none of the candidates can do anything about black on black crime or any other issue that the minority folks who were born here face. They are ill-equipped - always have been and always will be. To paraphrase Kanye West and Michael Jackson, they don't care about us!

Maybe it is just me, but I would think that the whole black on black crime issue would be in the forefront right now - especially with the untimely death of Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor. That man was 24 years old and was shot by an intruder while in his home.

I'm not implying that the intruder/murder/thief was black, but according to Fox Sports columnist Jason Whitlock, the statistics say the odds are great.

Here's the column: http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/7499442

Either way, this is a tragic situation. With that said, I'm a little irritated by Whitlock's column - even though he spoke the truth. A lot of what Whitlock wrote is speculation, nothing more, nothing less.

I'm not saying that his checkered past should be overlooked or unaddressed. I'm not saying that we don't have our fair share of self-hatred.

I am saying that his speculation and ASS-umption that Taylor's murderer is black is premature.

He even went so far as to go on a five-graf tirade about how hip hop is to blame for black on black crime. Don't know how we got here? I don't either. I hardly see what any of this has to do with hip hop. As far as I'm concerned, Whitlock is no different from the white folks and the old folks who sit up and talk about how "they're doing it to themselves."

I will be the first to admit that the music has gotten out of hand, but make it the cause of all that is wrong in the black community. The real problem is those of us who are educated, who can put a face on what it looks like to be educated and do fairly well don't go back to our own neighborhoods enough to show these kids the truth.

We're too busy filling their heads with all this nonsense about being whatever they want to be if they put their minds to it. What if I want to be a coat rack? Or a park bench? What about race car? Can I be a race car?

To answer those questions, not just no. HELL NO!!! I can't be coat rack, a park bench or a freakin' race car because I am not made of the stuff needed to be any of that. What's the moral of the story kids? Everybody is not made of the same stuff as these professional athletes and entertainers. DANG!

***And for the record, I think Whitlock is referring to rap music, not hip hop. He's using the two interchangeably and he shouldn't be. That's like using woman and bitch interchangeably. The two are similar in nature but they are not synonyms. ***

Hope you guys had a great holiday ...

... I know I did. I swear I think I ate for at least three days straight. I saw a lot of my family and friends and had an all around wonderful holiday weekend. But with all that, I still had time to stay on top of the news, well, some of it anyway.

The main topic of conversation between my brother and I was Michael Vick and his decision to go to jail early. Since neither of us knows what really happened, we both have our theories.

He seems to think that some team in the NFL has already told Vick that they'll take him after his sentence is completed. It's no secret that he's going to get about 12 months so if he goes now, he can come in mid-season next year.

I told my brother that his theory was well-thought out and it makes a lot of sense. My theory on the other hand - well let's just say I don't think it has anything to do with his career.

I think that Mikey went in early so he can avoid the family discussion during dinner. Until recently, the family embarrassment was Mike's little brother Marcus and his childish and sometimes dangerous antics on and off the field.

Now that Mikey's been caught abusing Fido and he's losing all his money, the family has a helluva lot to say. Ya'll know how black families are, word travels fast and eight times out of 10, it is the wrong information.

I imagine the conversation would have gone something like this:

Random relative: "So Mike, what happened man? ShayShay said something 'bout they got you on tape fighting dogs. Man, I thought you knew better than that. You know how white folks are about dogs. And then you taped it too? Man that was stupid!"

Random relative 2: "I know, right? I heard they fired you too. What 'choo gon do for money now? You know you can't do nothing but play football."

For real, I think he went to avoid it. I know I would have.

Something else that caught me kinda off guard was the Miss Puerto Rico pepper spray incident. In case you guys haven't heard, somebody spiked the evening gown and make-up of the newly crowned Miss Puerto Rico Ingrid Marie Rivera with pepper spray.

The woman smiled and kept her composure long enough to be crowned and receive her accolades but went back stage and violently ripped her gown off and packed her hive-covered face and body in ice.

Now, authorities are investigating her and her people saying that the sabotage was likely an inside job. I hardly think that she would douse herself in pepper spray and put herself through that hell.

I would be more apt to believe that it was a disgruntled make-up artist or a jealous rival(s). I mean, hey, those girls are pretty but they have a competitive nature that is out of this world. I don't know personally but I've seen just about all the beauty pageant movies out there.

Anyway, according to CNN, authorities are investigating Rivera because they want to know how the woman was able to keep her composure in front of the judges. Now, I don't know about beauty pageant jargon, but when I was in JROTC, we called that bearing. We were told no matter what was going on or went wrong to always keep your bearing. I just think she was trained well.

Either way, she has the crown now and she still has hives. They still don't know who did that to her, but I suggest when they find out who did, they lock the person in a room with her and then drop all the charges, if there are any.

Now ...

... now they've gone too far! First, Don Imus calls the Rutgers Women's Basketball team "nappy-headed hoes," then some random white lady called Hilary Clinton a bitch now, they're trying to make Santa stop saying "ho, ho, ho."
What does Santa have to do with this?

Apparently, some folks down under in Sydney say that some children may be frightened and some women maybe offended if the mall Santa sits atop his perch belting out "ho, ho, ho" all day long.

Here's the story: http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071115/wl_asia_afp/lifestyleaustraliachristmasoffbeat

I mean dang, I know Santa dresses like a pimp and all, but I didn't think they'd resort to taking away his laughter. How many of us haven't been about somebody who has a jacked up laugh? Even then, you don't make them stop, you just don't say anything funny around them.

And on top of that, it ain't Santa's "ho, ho, ho" that the kids are afraid of. It's the fact that they haven't seen this dude all year, now all of a sudden, you're telling them they have to sit on his lap to get a surprise on Christmas morn?

That would scare me too. I mean, I am all for some free stuff but why do I have to get molested by Santa to get it?

I'm just saying, they have taken this thing a bit too far. Santa has been coming from the North Pole for hundreds of years to entertain the kids and bring surprises and he's had the same laugh, I hardly think that he's been doing it intentionally to disrespect women for all this time. Plus, if you get offended because Santa says, "ho, ho, ho" then maybe you should stop sleeping around.

Who wants to go see Santa and he's belting out, "ha, ha, ha." That makes him seem too real because he has a real person's laugh and where's the magic in that? If anything, it will scare the kids more. And God forbid Santa is being played by somebody the kids knows, every time he sees that person, that kid is either going to ask for something or realize that the pedophile Santa is Mr. Ratley from down the street.

Then on top of that, they are trying to make Santa lose weight. I saw on ABC News that they are hiring slim Santas in London this year to discourage childhood obesity. I wonder how that's gonna work out.

You take the kid to the mall to see that Santa who weighed 300 pounds last year and this year, he weighs a buck 75, don't you think that will send an even worse message?
"Ha, ha, ha kids, you too can be skinny! Don't you want Santa to bring you a crack pipe for Christmas?"
Whatever, they'd better leave Santa alone before we all don't get anything for Christmas. The last thing we need is for Santa to be on strike. We are already running out of new television episodes, loosing money on Broadway tickets and now they want us to give up Santa?

What next?

Alright, settle in ...

... this could get long. There are a lot of things I'm pissed about and I have to say. So you have been forewarned, this entire post may be void of any logical transition.
First and foremost, I would like to extend my deepest condolences to Kanye West in his time of grief. In case you've been living under a rock, Kanye's mom, Dr. Donda West, passed away Saturday night. To be completely clear about this, no one is sure of how she died. It has been reported that West had a couple of cosmetic procedures done and she died due to complications from the surgeries.

You read right, surgeries. According to a cosmetic surgeon who allegedly performed the procedures, West had a tummy tuck and a breast reduction. Dr. Jan Adams was quoted on http://www.tmz.com/ saying that her performed the surgeries but West may have died from a heart attack, pulmonary embolism, or massive vomiting.

Of course the doctor is saying that she could have died from any of those things because he has to do an effective job of C.Y.A. Since Adams has come forth saying he operated, another doctor, Andre Aboolian has come forward saying that he refused to operate on West until she got a clean bill of health. According to Aboolian, West had a pre-existing condition that could cause complications or death if he did the surgery.

I'm not knocking plastic surgery at all, but if a doctor tells you that you should not have it then don't. I'm not even speaking ill of West, but I know for a fact that the new doctor had to have performed the same examinations that the first one did and he had to have found the same thing(s).

I want to know where the dang medical board is to prevent this kind of thing from happening. Surgery is surgery, I don't care what you're going to have fixed. If it requires anesthesia there's always the off chance that you'll die, that's why they have you sign that crazy wavier.

I sincerely want them to get to the bottom of this because the bottom line is if the doctor operated on West and he shouldn't have, he should be charged with murder, because he knew the consequences.

Speaking of consequences, when are we going to get some for overzealous police officers, particularly those in New York? NYPD gunned down a teenager who was armed with - a hair brush.

According to police, they responded to a domestic disturbance call in BedStuy from the teen's mother and the dispatcher allegedly heard the boy say he had a gun. Police say the boy had a black object hidden under his shirt and refused to stop while approaching police. After the boy failed to stop, the officers then shot at the boy - 20 times. Doesn't this sound straight out of a 90s "hood" movie?

It was just a year ago that they shot Sean Bell. And please don't forget about how they shot Amadou Diallo for picking up a damned wallet. I swear man, they must be training them to shoot to kill at the academy.
I have a suggestion. I say they start treating those cops like Andy Taylor used to treat Barney Fife. You can have a gun, but you only get one bullet and you have to keep it in your shirt pocket. If you run into a real problem, call somebody with some damn sense!

Protect and serve my ass!

On top of that, this O.J. Simpson preliminary hearing has been dragging on for days. We all know they are going to hang him, they should just get it over with already.

This is a preliminary hearing, it's preliminary. That means that this ain't even the real trial here. Do you know what preliminary means? They are trying to see if this dude qualifies to be sent to the grand jury. Then they gotta do this crap all over again to see if he gets indicted.

I'm already tired. They need to just let everybody go home and send O.J. before the judge.
They got him all over the news stations sitting down in the defendants chair acting like he's reading over a document. That dude can't read! I was young but I remember those "leters" he used to write Nicole before she died.

That junk is for show. If you ask me, he is looking over coloring pages his lawyers downloaded from Nickelodeon.com. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with coloring, in fact, I enjoy it on occasion, but don't try to play me like that dude knows how to read and understand all that courtroom jargon.

Johnnie ain't here to break it down in a cute lil' rhyme for him, so they're having to have his hearing Sesame Street style and it's sponsored by the letter "I" for incarceration.

And another thing, how come O.J. don't have a baby sitter? Usually when those people who are mentally challenged grow up, they have to have someone living with them or live in a group home to ensure that they don't hurt themselves. Who is his social worker? Somebody needs to get fired.

And just so we can clear this up, I am not calling O.J. mentally challenged, I would never offend them that way. I'm saying this bama is retarded and he needs to be watched!