Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Well thank God ...

... Rosie O'Donnell has finally come to her senses and will not be going after the Price Is Right gig! I don't know about you guys, but I am about ready to throw a party!
In other celebrity news, Paris Hilton was released from jail last night. Yea, I don't care either, but I thought I'd mention it.
And on the "Thank Ya Jesus" side of the law, a Washington, D.C. area judge has thrown out the lawsuit that another judge filed for $54 million for a lost pair of pants.
I am so glad that this judge has the sense to see the case for what it was and say that it was crap. He should hold him in contempt of court and send his butt to jail for wasting the courts time.
Shoot, I still can't get over the fact that he paid $800 for a pair of pants. I would think that if he could afford $800 for the pants, he should be able to afford Dryel to clean them bad boys at home himself!
That is ridiculous. If I had $800 to spend on pants, I wouldn't do it. I'd go to Lane Bryant and buy 16 pairs of $50 pants and call it a day. Anyway, let's not go there.
Last, and least, the BET Awards will air live tonight. I am not all that excited about it, but I have to watch this train wreck. I will be back tomorrow, or later tonight, with a full ... uh ... commentary about the "goings on!"

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I think it's safe to say ...

... that I have seen it all.
Have you heard about this $54 million lawsuit that a judge in D.C. has filed against a dry cleaner? The man is suing for a lost pair of pants. That's right, a pair of pants. But get this, they found the pants and now the man says they aren't his.
If you don't believe me, click the link. http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/06/13/trouser.trial/index.html
You know I'm pissed right? He just had to be a negro, didn't he?
Now just where are these people supposed to get $54 million if the jury rules in favor of this haberdashery obsessed fool? It was a pair of pants - that they found. Where does the $54 million come in? Is he trying to buy the whole dang company that made the pants?
You'd think this case would have been laughed out of court, but the guy who filed the suit is a judge and he is acting as his own lawyer. He keeps finding loopholes that allow him to keep this thing in court.
I hate to be cliche and say he's making us all look bad, but he ain't exactly making us look like good people to do business with either.
I saw on Nightline the other night that the pants were worth about $800. Eight hundred dollars, for some pants. Some regular a-- pants! That's $400 a leg.
I hate to see how much he spends on socks and drawers.
Do you realize that I can pay my rent, cable/internet bill, electric and still put some gas in my car? And he spent that on some pants. I'm glad they lost those pants. He should have gone home and just counted that as a learning experience - a stupid tax, if you will.
I hope the jury rules in favor of the defendants and makes that judge pay a hefty fine for wasting time and resources and I hope he has to pay those people's legal fees.
Eight hundred dollar pants - why doesn't he have a special dry cleaner on his payroll, since he can afford $800 pants. Shoot, for $800 those pants should have had some legs in them and some Stacy Adams on the feet on those legs.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Say it isn't so ...

... please tell me that Rosie O'Donnell will not be the new host of The Price Is Right. Even if it's a lie, tell me that she won't be the host so that I can sleep better.
Does CBS have a death wish for that show? Don't they know adding her to the mix of anything already established will equal the death of the show? Look at what happened on The View. See how people stopped taking time to enjoy it?
I'd hate to see that happen with The Price Is Right. Instead of telling contestants to "Come on down," they'll be shouting it to their ratings.
I mean, she is the only person they could have found who can mess that show up. It has been on TV since Bob Barker was a young man and he went to high school with Jesus!
Adding her to the show will only cause long-time viewers, like myself, to stop watching. Granted I am working on most days when the show is on, but what will I watch at 11 a.m., when I'm working from home?
I am so disappointed in them even using her as an option. What about all of the other folks who are out of work who could use that break? Why not Caroline Rhea? Why don't they dig up Chuck Woolery from the Game Show Network? Nobody watches Lingo except me and my little cousin anyway. And what about that guy from Home Improvement who used to host Family Feud? Anybody but Rosie!!!
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate her. I just can't stand her sometimes. I mean, do we really want the Barker Beauties replaced by The Rockettes? I mean, it is tradition to have those women to come out and model some of the most obscure stuff, but they are fully clothed - in some nice clothes too.
You know she's going to turn it into a production. I just get the strangest feeling that the contestants will have to know show tunes in order to make it up to the stage. She will start announcing the game instructions in those little voices that she likes to do. And, she is going to completely f-up Plinko with talk about how we need to get rid of Bush and we can't have that!
Believe me, I want Bush gone as much as the next chick, but I don't want to hear about it on my daytime TV shows. I say we all call CBS and start petitions against her taking over for Bob Barker.
And while we're at it, let's find out why they don't have any shows that are based on black families or black folks period.
Now, whose with me?!

Monday, June 11, 2007

Interesting ...

... very interesting. Paris Hilton has been ordered back to jail and rightfully so, what criminal do you know gets a chance to go home on the weekend?
Apparently, she left a California courtroom screaming and crying for her mother saying, "It's not fair!" Ha, you know what's not fair? She can run around doing whatever she pleases just because she comes from money. That's not fair. She is famous for absolutely nothing. That's really not fair.
Well, I will say one thing for her, she's not blaming her legal issues on her race - unlike Wesley Snipes. In case you haven't heard, Snipes, who unlawfully claimed an estimated $12 million in tax returns, is playing the race card in his indictment.
This negro's attorneys have said in court documents that he received additional tax evasion charges while his two white co-defendants did not. Everybody say it with me on three. One ... two ... three ... "SO!"
This man makes an un-godly amount of money for every single picture he does. Look at the movies he's been a part of: the Blade trilogy, Murder at 1600, the Art of War, U.S. Marshals, a couple of Spike Lee Joints and a bunch of others.
His lawyers say that he fell victim to "unscrupulous tax advice." Now, I don't have Wesley Snipes' amount of money. In fact, I am too broke to pay attention, but I am guessing that when you have the kind of money he has, you might want to hire someone to keep an eye on your accountant.
Sounds like to me he didn't plan ahead. Obviously, he has not been well-versed in the number of celebrities who have lost their fortunes because of tax evasion. Let's go down the list, shall we? There's Redd Foxx, Peabo Bryson, Ron "Mr. Big" Isley, Don King and so many others.
He just needs to go ahead, pay the government back and keep it moving.

Friday, June 08, 2007

New plan ...

... I'm moving to Hollywood to become famous so that I can do everything I want to do whether it's illegal or not. Obviously to get out of criminal charges and jail time, all you have to do is be famous.
Don't believe me? Check the headlines.
They let Paris Hilton out of jail after serving five days of her sentence so that she could attend to some "mysterious" illness. What's the illness? According to Access Hollywood, Miss Paris has a rash.
I really hate people who state the obvious, so pardon me while I drive my point home. Had Paris Hilton been a black chick, they would have throw her some Gold Bond (the generic kind) and sent her pamper booty back to general population.
Then on top of that, they gave this chick a single cell in the special needs unit of the jail where she was being held. Why is it that the "blind" justice system can recognize that Paris is retarded but the rest of the world can't?
And speaking of retarded stars, what is wrong with Akon? In case you haven't heard, this fool threw a 15-year-old kid off a stage.
The way the story is being reported, the kid attended a concert where Akon was performing and allegedly threw something on stage. Akon allegedly asked the people in the audience to point out the person who threw something at him. They pointed to this kid, he called for him to come on stage and he threw him into the crowd, injuring another concert-goer. Now this woman has a concussion.
In the words of the legendary Richard Pryor, "That nigger's crazy."
I knew something was wrong with that dude when he came out with his first single, "Locked Up." He is singing in the high-pitched moan he calls a singing voice about being in jail.
Initially, I was a little worried about the fact that being in jail put a song in his heart. Now I'm worried that this fool might actually want to be locked up.
What about throwing a 15-year-old kid off a stage seemed right? OK, the kid may have thrown something at you. I'm thinking it's probably because your singing sounds like a sick cat on a hot tin roof. You curse him out, you don't throw him off a stage.
And what about the poor woman who was an innocent bystander? She's got a concussion all because you got belligerent because somebody hates your singing. Man, I'd hate to be the reporter reviewing his music, he'd probably hunt me down and shoot me.
I'm telling ya'll, it's celebrities gone wild and I want to be on the next episode. I got to go to Hollywood and get famous, there are a couple of people I would like to throw off of something.
What are they going to do to me? Akon didn't get arrested, so I won't either.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Can we have a moment of silence ...

... in memory of the Hi-Five frontman Tony Thompson.
He was found dead last Friday outside his apartment complex from an apparent drug overdose. he was 31. That is just sad.
I won't use this post as a diatribe to tell how all of our young black men are dying for no reason, because you already know that. I will use this to say that this mess needs to stop. That's the end of that because I am not trying to get up on a soapbox about this.
Since I never admit that I'm wrong, about anything, let me be the first to tell you that maybe I wasn't completely right about TV completely sucking now.
In case you haven't seen the previews, ABC gave Shaq, that's Shaquille O'Neal, a reality show about helping to combat childhood obesity. I know this shouldn't be funny, but it is really hard NOT to laugh in this situation.
I am not laughing at ABC calling in reinforcements to help combat childhood obesity, but they got Shaq! They didn't get some health guru, a reputable physican or athletic trainer, they got Shaq. Big ole', 7-foot tall, Incredible Hulk dipped in chocolate, cockeyed Shaq.
Now don't get me wrong, I like Shaq. He's sexy, in his own way, but athletic trainer he ain't. This man was about 70 pounds overweight until he went to Miami. What can he do, besides play with these kids, that is going to encourage them to lose weight?
Speaking as a big girl myself, I just don't see how prodding from an oversized human is going to encourage folks to lose weight.
And last but certainly not least, anyone who has been watching CNN has no doubt seen the story of the married couple with three children in Tennessee who has been deployed to Iraq. This is by far the LAST straw.
How can these politicians rest at night knowing that they have sent both parents of three children ranging in ages from 9 to 12 off to fight a pointless war?If they're parents don't make it back, who is going to raise these children? Who is going to support these children?
I'll tell you who it won't be, it won't be Bush or any of his cronies. Why in the hell hasn't anyone called for Bush's impeachment?
Oh that's right, he hasn't had an affair.